


The Duck Pond

by periwren



Category: Real Person Fiction, Sander sides web series, Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF, Youtube RPF
Genre: And are scared of leaving him alone, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Thomas Sanders, Character Death, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Thomas Sanders, Creepy castle, Dr Pacani, Duck Pond, FakeLogic, FakePatton, Imagination, Logic | Logan Sanders/Thomas Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders/Thomas Sanders, Not Really Character Death, Past Suicide Attempt, Sanders Sides (Video Blogging RPF), Short Chapters, So I make Princey sleep talk, Suicide Attempt, Talk of going to a therapist, The sides are watching out for him, This has become so long., Triggers, Virgil trying to get better, Warning relapse, but lots of feels, descriptions of death, past self harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-01-15 13:15:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 96
Words: 26,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12321798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/periwren/pseuds/periwren
Summary: "I-I used to sometimes go there to feed ducks when I di-didn't want to be in my room anymore and I was wondering if-if I could walk down there again." explained Anxiety."Oh that sounds like fun. We can go tomorrow if you like." smiled Patton."Um. Well um - Actually I was wondering if I could go by myself?" asked Anxiety his stomach twisting itself in knots.The smile vanished instantly from Patton's face. "Alone?" he sounded confused and terrified."Yeah."A tense silence filled the room.





	1. Chapter 1

It had been 43 days. 

But who was counting.

It had been 43 days since the incident.

43 days since Anxiety just couldn't take it anymore.

43 days since it had all become too much. But it had been building for years. 

Not that anyone had noticed, he had thought. Or he reasoned they probably just didn't care how he felt. They hated him. They probably liked it that he was miserable and in (emotional) pain - he reckoned they would tell him he deserved it. He didn't think they knew about the physical pain though. Black is good for hiding any blood that seeps through. 

43 days since he changed from cutting horizontal lines on his forearms and thighs, to a single deep vertical cut down his right arm. 

43 days since the day he stopped caring about everything. He thought he had finally caught up with the others- this is what they already felt about him; they didn't care, they hated him, they would be (finally) happy that he would be gone for good. 

And he had tried to end it all 43 days ago. 

But who was counting. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

43 Days ago, Anxiety found out that dying hurts - like really hurts and is absolutely terrifying. It can make you scream loud enough to wake a whole house up apparently. 

The others had heard his screams and had come running to his aid. They had saved his life. 

For the first couple of days after the incident Anxiety didn't know what to do. 

He always thought the others hated him, didn't care about him, didn't want him. Now he wasn't so sure. 

If-if they didn't care, they would have just left him to die right? But they had saved him. Were-were they just taking pity on him? Was saving him an accident - okay that one was unlikely, you can't bandage someone up by "accident." 

But he didn't know what to think. 

For years he always told himself he was worthless, he knew the others felt that way too. He thought they felt that way. 

Princey was always saying "I don't like you" among other insults. 

Now he kept apologizing over and over to Anxiety. Princey said he didn't realize how much he was hurting him. Princey said he thought he always brushed the insults off. 

Anxiety didn't know what to think. 

Was Princey lying? How can you insult someone and not think it was hurting them?

After the incident - they all started talking to him. They had never wanted to talk to him. That's how he ended up spending so much time isolated in his room alone. 

It had been too much to sit there with them and them never talking to him (except Patton but he was just doing it to be nice- he knew because Patton would quickly turn his attention back to whatever he was doing, no matter how Anxiety responded). Even when he did talk to them most of the time they would end up telling him he was wrong/bothering them/shut up.

He wasn't wanted. So he spend more and more time in his room. And they didn't mind it then. 

Now he was being included, they were talking to him. 

Anxiety didn't know what to think. 


	3. Chapter 3

So for the first few days after the incident Anxiety moved about in a daze. 

He didn't know what to think. He didn't know how to feel. He wasn't sure if he wanted to feel. 

He didn't trust the others. He didn't trust himself. 

The others had tried to get him to talk to them about what he was thinking and feeling. 

He didn't know. So he couldn't answer. But they wanted to know what had happened. 

They tried everything from coaxing to demanding him to talk to them. But he couldn't. 

They looked upset and hurt. But they were also looking at him differently. Kindly. They smiled at him. They patted him on the back. They ruffled his hair. 

Anxiety didn't know what to feel. 

He was still uncertain - they didn't want him gone?

He had flinched and almost fell over when Morality had tried to hug him, he had backed away so fast.  Patton had looked hurt. 

Anxiety immediately knew he had done bad -again. 

"I'm sorry you can hug me if you want." 

Patton smiled "Only if you to kiddo," 

Virgil found that he did want to. 


	4. Chapter 4

Did you know that privacy is a luxury?

And now it was something that Logic, Princey and Morality could not afford Anxiety to have. 

The day of the incident they went through all his things. 

They found the razers of course. 

But they took anything else sharp away too. Scissors from his stationary draw, even a lighter they found under his bed. He wasn't using these but the others couldn't take any chances. 

Roman even went and hid the knives in the kitchen somewhere. 

Later they went back through his things again. 

This time it was his writings and sketches. 

His notes, his journals, his angsty sonnets.

They would read them at their leisure later.  

On day 2 after the incident they all gathered in their spots in the living room. 

"Strip." 

Logic didn't make it a question or a request but an order. 

Anxiety would cringe later remembering this, but at the time he was so out of it, his mind so fogged and numb by the fact that he was still here and also probably blood loss. 

He complied. 

Without protest. Without hesitation. 

Princey and Morality looked distressed that he hadn't even raised the slightest objection.

Later he found out they did this because they needed to see the extent of his injuries that he had done to himself over the years. Just how many cuts there were. And where. And did any of them need first aid right now like his right arm. 

He didn't feel embarrassed. Or ashamed. Or humiliated. He didn't feel anything at all.

Soon he was standing bare at the base of the stairs. All of his clothes hanging over the side of the banister.

"Turn your forearms so they are facing out." There was the slightest tremor in Logic's voice.  

Morality looked like he wanted to cry. Princey's eyes were filled with horror.

Logic came closer to him.

He counted them all.

Both arms, mostly the forearms but some where scattered up to just below his shoulder. His thighs. Some even above his hip bone. And an odd few down near his ankles.

There were so many.  


	5. Chapter 5

There were rules. 

New rules. Unspoken rules. 

He didn't know when they had made the rules - was it decided when he was unconscious after they saved him?

He was never to be left alone. 

Well he could go to the toilet.

But for days they would follow him and wait outside the toilet. 

Morality kept knocking on the door, asking if he was okay if he took longer than a minute. 

Awkward if he was taking a dump or constipated - " _knock knock_ Anxiety _knock knock_ Anxiety you okay?"  

He wasn't allowed to lock the door when he showered. He had to take off his clothes before he went in. 

They didn't understand that he usually just showered or had a bath with his clothes on. 

He didn't want to tell them sometimes he couldn't stand looking at himself. 

Looking at what he had done. 

He didn't want to talk about that yet. 

But he was not to be left alone. 

The others were scared.  Scared he would hurt himself again. Scared he would try and kill himself again. 

They hung out as a group a lot more it seemed. (Or did they always spend this much time together - he didn't know he was usually alone).

But if they weren't in a group, there was always one side with him. Always. 

He wasn't sure if they had worked out a rooster or anything. 

They did seem to switch throughout the day. One moment he would be watching Disney with Roman then Patton would be asking him to draw together. 

They-they must be so sick of having to spend time with him.

Constantly having to watch him like a baby. They can't stand him right? That's why the have to switch to give the person stuck with him a breather.

He didn't know what to think. Was he a bother to them?

He wasn't ready to ask.

But there was always someone with him. 

Even at bedtime. 

It was a rule. 

Someone had to be with him. Always.

So he had to sleep with them. 

Sometimes they slept together in his room. 

Sometimes they slept together in their rooms. 

Except Patton. Patton would not sleep in Anxiety's room (spider curtains). So if it was Patton's turn they would always be in Patton's room. 

Anxiety was not alone anymore.

But he still felt the distance between them. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In previous chapters DoubleX asked if the incident was Accepting Anxiety. I'm thinking maybe in this story Accepting Anxiety didn't happen - I would like to have a future chapter about the others finding out his name. So if you want to think of this story in that way or AU that's fine.

There were more rules of course. 

It was just no leaving Anxiety alone was the big one.

Other rules included; Anxiety could not have sharp things (Duh). 

Except if he needed a knife to eat dinner with. 

That was another rule. He had to eat food. 

Like a consistent 3 meals a day now.

Before the incident some days he would just live off energy drinks and a bag of chips.

Now he had to eat together with everyone. And couldn't leave the table until he had at least eaten some of his meal.

Maybe he had to eat with the others so they could make sure he didn't try and cut himself with a butter knife.

They always made sure to take the knife away after the meal.

And wash it after the meal and then dry it immediately and hide it wherever they were hiding all the kitchen knives know.  

Another rule was no "negative talk" or something along those lines. 

No insults or demeaning comments came his way anymore. 

For the first few days Princey was so quite. 

It was like he didn't know how to talk to Anxiety without being mean. 

But maybe he learned from watching Logan and Patton and soon was talking to him like another human being. 

It made him uneasy. 

He couldn't shake the feeling that it was all a trick. 

If Anxiety let down his guard for a moment, Prince would jump in with a super knock out insult that he had been saving. 

He was not being paranoid. 

The others could not be trusted. Nobody could be trusted. Not even himself. 

One more rule was they had to check to make sure he wasn't hurting himself anymore. 

This was stupid because with the Anxiety cannot be alone rule and the Anxiety cannot have sharp things rule, how was he supposed to have hurt himself again?

But for the first few days (because he was so out of it) he didn't question the rules. 

So when took him for his shower or bath, he had to show them that there were no new cuts.

Strip, show, shower. Simple. 

Around day 8-9 he started coming back to his senses. 


	7. Chapter 7

By day 10 after the incident he started to feel again. 

Feel like his old self again. 

And think clearly again. 

Except this time there were more thoughts added to his usual self loathing. 

Specifically: What kind of useless pathetic piece of shit can't even fucking kill themselves properly. 

He was a failure at life. 

Now he was a failure at dying too. 

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 

And to think he thought he couldn't hate himself more than he already did. 

Wrong again. 

Stupid idiot. 


	8. Chapter 8

Around the day 10 and 11 mark the others noticed the change. 

The change in how he was feeling. 

They didn't know what exactly he was feeling of course. 

But he wasn't acting like a mindless zombie. 

The change wasn't something for the better though. 

He hunched in on himself again. 

Started pulling up his hoodie. 

Avoided eye contact if he could. 

Pulled away from physical contact and gave them a look of disgust that they had tried to touch him. 

When he was in a daze he wasn't very good at answering questions but sometimes they had managed to have entire conversations. 

Now he closed them off again. 

But it got worse.

It seemed now he was also angry. 

"Do you know how special you are?" beamed Patton as they coloured. 

Anxiety looked away. Patton kept staring at him until he finally looked back. 

"Well do you?" 

Anger bubbled in the pit of his stomach. 

"Hmph."

"Anxiety?"

"The last time you said that, Princey chimed in with "Yeah he's a real special disappointment." and laughed. And you know what you did? Nothing. You had already gone back to smearing marmalade on your toast. You think your so great don't you, spewing out all these "nice" and "kind" words. You're a  _real swell_ guy aren't you? It doesn't matter if everyone else is giving me shit as long as you have thrown out some random cutesy crap - because then everyone knows you're the "nice guy".  _You_ weren't being mean to Anxiety, were you? You did nothing. You stood by and did  _nothing."_ Anxiety hissed. 

Patton leant back, alarmed by this outburst. 

Logic who was sitting at the table and heard the whole thing, made hand signals to Patton to drop it, let him be.

Anxiety grabbed the black and stabbed angrily at his drawing.

He brushed the other colours away with his free hand - he didn't need them.  


	9. Chapter 9

Day 13

Unlucky day 13. 

By day 43 Logic would say that this day was a "break through" because it was the first time he acknowledged his cuts.

By day 43 Princey would still tell Logic to shut up about it.

But day 13 was a bath day.

He was with Princey that day.

Princey had special bath bombs he would put in the bath for Anxiety.

They smelled very pretty.

And they made the water very pretty. Lots of glitter and bubbles. 

Today Anxiety did not want to follow the rules.

He wanted to take a bath like he used to.

With his clothes on.

Cause he didn't want to look at himself.

He wasn't pretty.  

Anxiety stood in the bathroom with his arms folded. 

Princey had finished running the bath. 

Princey came over to him, waved his hand is a circle. 

It meant: Let's get this over with, get undressed so I can look at you then you can get in the tub.

Princey didn't like looking at Anxiety. 

Princey didn't like looking at the scars either. 

Anxiety didn't want Princey looking at him.

He was ugly. Princey was pretty. 

"Come on Anxiety it's bath time. Take your clothes off it's time to get in." 

He frowned. 

"No."

"Wh-what?"

He didn't want to undress in front of Princey. 

"I don't want to." 

"Bu-you have to."

"No.

Princey got scared. 

He thought that Anxiety was hiding something.

New cuts. 

"Anxiety you have to have a bath!"

The rule was unspoken: And you have to show me your body. 

"Fine!" 

Anxiety walked over and jumped into the bath tub. 

Water splashed everywhere. 

He still had his arms crossed and glared at the tiles on the wall. 

"There."

Princey looked astonished. 

"You-you can't have a bath with your clothes still on."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"I can. I do it all the time. I don't want to get naked and have you looking at me!"

Princey couldn't avoid the subject anymore. 

"You-you have to get undressed Anxiety so I can see you d-don't have any...cuts." 

"I don't have any."

"I-I need to check."

"You think I'm lying?"

"No-um I" Princey was getting flustered. 

"I just need to check Anxiety please."

Anxiety didn't like that "please" it made him upset. 

" _Why_? Why do you need to check? I  _told_ you I don't have any. I want to take a bath like I usually do.  _That's with my clothes on._ " 

"You can't possibly bathe with your clothes on-"

" _So you think I'm lying?"_

 _"_ Anxiety get out of that tub and take your clothes off now."

"NO."

"I am going to get Logan and Patton." threatened Princey and he stamped his foot in the puddle of water that was on the floor. 

"FINE. I don't care. I don't have any cuts. And this is how I like to take my baths. So I don't have to look at the scars. So I don't have see how hideous I am. Maybe you get a sick kick out of seeing what your fucking creative insults have done to me over the years when you make me do a strip tease but sometimes I can't stand seeing them, so the clothes don't come off!" 

He looked at Princey.

There were tears in his eyes. 

He walked out of the room. 

Anxiety sat there and glared at the tiles. 

The water was nice and warm. Princey had made it just right.

Princey did get Logan and Patton. 

Patton knelt down next to the tub. He stroked his hair. 

Anxiety didn't want to look at him. 

Princey was telling Logic what had happened in the other room.

He heard Princey cry out "It is all my fault, he said so!" 

Anxiety stared at the tiles. 

He splashed water on his face when he jumped in.

He wasn't crying. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Wrote this on Friday the 13th.


	10. Chapter 10

That night he was sleeping in Logic's room. 

"I wasn't lying."

"I know."

"I didn't have any cuts."

"I know, but we still had to check."

It had taken twice as long. 

Logan and Patton were thorough.

Princey had waited in the other room.  

"Better to be safe than sorry. Better you are safe than us be sorry." 

"And I wasn't lying about taking baths with my clothes on!"

"Doing that must make it extremely difficult to wash yourself properly."

"Hmph, I don't care."

"Do you bathe that way always?"

Anxiety suddenly found he didn't want to talk about this.

They didn't know that he bathed with clothes on.

Now they did.

Now they would want to talk about it.

And talk about how he didn't like looking at the scars, how he said Princey's insults made him cut and-and-

He didn't want to talk about it. 

"I don't want to talk about it." 

Logic was smart. He didn't push it. 

He let Anxiety lie there and pretend he was asleep.

Well Logic was smart _that_ time.


	11. Chapter 11

They all had different ways of sleeping. 

Patton cuddled. 

Like the second they were both in the bed, Patton latched onto him. 

Very warm and snuggly.

He also constantly forgot to take off his glasses. 

Logic was well Logic.

Very stiff. Almost formal. Bed was not a place to relax, it was a place to get sleep - what do you mean sleep is meant to be relaxing?

Logic was only one that didn't turn sleeping into a big cuddlefest.

Logic didn't toss or turn either.

He just laid there like a plank of wood until he went to sleep.

Anxiety wondered if Logic felt awkward having to share is bed.

It was awkward having to sleep with Princey at the beginning.

Like it was ever going to be easy getting into bed with your arch nemesis.

Those first times it was like he was getting into bed next to a bag of hand grenades. 

You could feel the vibes coming off him as they lay there together: Don't touch him, don't touch him. 

But after Princey drops off to sleep he becomes as clingy as Patton.

Strong, secure and safe. 

There was one time Patton woke up from the lost of body heat or something like that - and started screaming when he realised that Anxiety wasn't in bed. 

All three of them started running around madly. 

Anxiety yelled from the toilet.

"I'm just in here!"

Princey nearly bowled him over as he burst into the toilet. 

"GET OUT I'M PEEING!"

"Oh so sorry." 

Anxiety figured since Patton and Roman hugged him in there sleep, the only one that wouldn't notice if he got out of bed would be Logic. 

He wondered if he should test this theory. 


	12. Chapter 12

Logic had made a new thing. 

It wasn't a rule.

But it was a new thing.

How do you describe it though?

It was like... group therapy.

An intervention. 

Counseling. 

Anyway it was a new thing.

They did it all together. 

Every few days for a few hours.

There were all these activities that Logic planned. 

It was so obvious that Logic had planned them to try and get him to open up.

To try and get him to talk to them about stuff.

His thoughts. 

His feelings. 

His... issues. 

Logic didn't know about feelings. 

So it was hard for him to plan these activities. 

He wasn't sure if they were doing them right. 

And he wasn't even sure what the objective of some of these activities was. 

But they were supposed to help. 

But it was hard. 

Anxiety didn't seem to be very interested. 

But the websites said the individual might be resistant to partaking in them. 

The individual might be scared or ashamed or worried they will do something wrong. 

But you needed persistence.

Logic, Morality and Princey could do the activities and keep trying to get Anxiety to join in. 

Keep trying. 

Just keep trying to reach him. 

 


	13. Chapter 13

Princey and Morality didn't really like the new thing/group therapy either. 

But if it helped Anxiety they would do it. 

They would try. 

One time they all had to bring plush toys.

Logic said they were to imagine the toys as their anxiety and then try and calm it down.

"So... my teddy bear is now Anxiety?" asked Morality pointing from Anxiety to his bear.

"No. Not the person Anxiety but you internal feelings. Negative emotions bringing about fear, worry, panic. Imagine those are now apart of the plush toy and you are to offer it comfort and support."

So weird. 

But if it helped. 

Logic did not know much about feelings. 

He did not know how this worked. 

But he would try. 

"Ahem. There, there. There, there. Everything is satisfactory and you are in no immediate danger."

Logic patted his toy on the head. 

The others looked at him. 

Princey tried to stifle a laugh behind his hand. 

Logic frowned.

"Roman need I remind you that this is a supportive environment."

The new group therapy thing was not a rule, but it had in it a rule.

It was to be a "supportive environment".

Sometimes Logic didn't like that it had to be a "supportive environment", because there were no wrong answers in "supportive environments".

Well that's what he had read. 

This sometimes made him get quite a bit mad. 

There was one activity they did - Name something that comes to mind for different colors. 

Blue: Logic: My tie. Princey: Um the ocean. Anxiety.... Logic: It's okay Anxiety there are no wrong answers. Anxiety: Patton's shirt. Logic: Good. Morality: A pineapple!

Green: Princey: Emeralds. Anxiety: Broccoli. Morality: Panda. Logic: ...Leaves.

Group therapy thingy was hard.  


	14. Chapter 14

Day 15 group therapy thingy. 

This one was the worse. 

Everything was still tense from Day 13 bath incident. 

Anxiety was feeling worse and worse. 

He didn't belong. 

He shouldn't be here. 

He was bad. Why had he failed. He wouldn't feel this way if he wasn't such a failure. 

Anxiety didn't want to do whatever "touchy feely" crap Logic had planned today. 

They didn't really want to help him. 

He was worthless. 

They sat at the table. 

"Today we are going to look at some pictures and have a discussion about them." 

"Anxiety I would like it very much if you could tell us what is going on in some of the pictures" said Logic. 

"Maybe you could explain what these pictures mean."

Logic put something on the table. 

It was a sketch book. 

 _Anxiety's_ sketch book. 

Anxiety felt a flash of anger. 

"Maybe what you were thinking when you drew these pictures." continued Logic. 

"Or what you were feeling at the time. Or now when you see them." 

That was his book. Those were his drawings. 

They were private. 

They shouldn't be able to just go through his things.

And they wanted to talk about what he felt when he looked at his drawings. 

He started breathing heavier. 

He pulled his hoodie up and looked away. 

No. _NO_

This was not okay. 

Logic wanted a discussion about _feelings_ from his _drawings_. 

With Princey and Morality. 

Anxiety literally can't even at the moment. 

 


	15. Chapter 15

Princey was creativity. 

He knew how artwork is an extension of the soul. 

A part of you that goes out into the world. 

He knows how deep it can cut, when others criticise. When others judge. Or hate.

That's on works that he allowed to go out into the world.  

But he knows there are pieces that are just for you. 

Morality was heart. And morals. 

He knew that you don't touch others things without permission. 

Because you might break them. Damage them. 

And trust. You could break a persons trust. 

Logic was logic. 

He didn't do feelings. 

But if he had feelings that would explain the gut feeling that this was wrong. 

But he had logic, so he knew that this was a bad idea. 

But.

But, maybe.

But maybe they could learn. Something. 

The others knew about feelings - Roman and Patton. 

Anxiety had feelings. 

But they didn't know what he was feeling.

Anxiety kept his feelings to himself. 

Anxiety didn't talk about feelings. 

Anxiety must have been feeling something, something bad to hurt himself but they didn't know. 

So how could they help?

But.

But you have feelings when you make art. Right?

Maybe what Anxiety was feeling has been put into the art. 

Maybe they could see that. Try and understand. 

Maybe the art could talk to them because Anxiety was not.

If the art talked to them, then Anxiety might too. 

Even if it was something they didn't want to hear. 

 


	16. Chapter 16

The others had looked at some of the pictures. 

While Anxiety said nothing. 

He kind of grunted. 

Not okay. 

There were lots of different pictures. 

It was an old book. 

They were cautious. 

Of what they said. 

Deliberately not saying anything bad. 

That must have been hard. Because he work was just terrible. 

Awful. So pathetic. 

Just like him. 

Anxiety didn't know that the others thought the pictures were beautiful. 

But. 

They also had such intense emotions. Patton could almost feel them like physical blows. 

The sadness. The animosity. The hurt. The resentment. The loneliness. 

Logic stopped on one picture. 

"Anxiety what is this picture about?" 

Anxiety didn't look up.

"Is the symbolism in this picture about you and Princey?"

Anxiety still didn't look up. 

"Did Princey break your heart?" 

Anxiety quickly glanced to see what they were looking at. 

Oh. 

That one. 

Shit. 

That was done a few years ago. 

He didn't want to talk about it. 

Logic wasn't going to let it go. He pushed. 

They needed to know. If they were going to help. 

It might not have been smart. 

But really how many choices have you made where you picked the smart option?

 


	17. Chapter 17

The picture had three colors. 

Yellow. (He didn't have gold)

Red.

Black. 

It was done a few years back. 

On Valentines day. 

He had stopped the confession. Made their host too anxious. 

Missed their chance as Princey had put it. 

That was probably the most civil part of the conversation they had. 

The rest ...

Well he was Creativity. And pissed off at the lost romantic encounter. 

Eloquently worded: Anxiety was the bad guy. 

It didn't matter that he was just trying to protect. Against heartbreak, rejection. 

It was too sudden. They didn't know this person well enough. 

Weeks later they would find out this person was actually homophobic. 

But none of them acknowledged that he saved them from a potentially dangerous situation. Ever. 

But they did remember that he was the bad guy. 

Anyway back to the picture in the book. 

It was a crown. 

On top of the crown there were red hearts. 

The hearts were pierced threw the spikes of the crown. 

They were bleeding. 

Black blood. 

It seeped down the crown and made a pool at the bottom. 


	18. Chapter 18

The key to a good relationship is communication. 

Does it matter what volume?

Because inside him something snapped. 

And he started screaming and shouting at them. 

So loud. 

Patton covered his ears.

He screamed and screamed and screamed. 

Everything hurt. 

It wasn't fair. 

Why did he have to hurt this way?

It was their fault, they didn't care, they did this, he deserved it, everything hurt inside. 

He couldn't see tears were streaming down his face, his body shook with sobs between the shouts. 

He had had no physical release for his pain in over two weeks. 

He punched the wall. 

Pain blossomed. 

He punched again. 

Pain radiated through his knuckles. Sweet pain.

But it wasn't enough.

He still screamed at them.

Everything he could remember. Their words, their actions, everything.

Everything they made him feel.

Everything dark thought that plagued his mind.

Suddenly darkness took him and he felt no more.

Anxiety collapsed on the floor. 


	19. Chapter 19

When he awoke he was surrounded by comfort. 

Princey's bed. 

Patton's arms wrapped around him. 

But he ached. Still so tired. 

His eyes stung. 

His hands bandaged and covered in ice, throbbed painfully. 

Pain didn't feel good anymore. 

His throat was raw. 

He didn't think he could speak. 

Patton felt him stir. And immediately backed off. 

He looked so upset, almost afraid. 

God what had he said to (screamed at) them downstairs?

Anxiety tried to speak. Patton was able to read his lips. 

"Water, yup right here."

He grabbed the glass on the nightstand and pressed it to his lips.

Anxiety gulped down the liquid greedily. 

"Thanks" he managed to croak out. 

He was too tired. Just so tired. 

His head flopped back against the pillow exhausted. 

Patton didn't know what to do. Should he still hold him?

Anxiety started to drift off again but he heard Patton whisper;

"Hey Kiddo, c-can I hold you?" 

Patton took a deep breath.

"And I don't want to hold you just because I want make myself feel better or show off what a good person I am. I want to hug you to make _you_ feel better."

"Will holding you make you feel a bit better?"

Anxiety nodded. 

It would help a bit. Probably. 

Maybe a lot. 


	20. Chapter 20

Princey came into the room as Patton snuggled back up to Anxiety. 

He sat on a chair quietly.

Watched the two of them rest. 

Anxiety's face was still a mess.

Tears had ruined his eyeshadow. 

Guilt knotted Princey's stomach. 

They cast him as the bad guy. 

_He_ had treated him as a villain.

But he wasn't.  

There were too many times, where he had been cruel for no reason. 

Just because he had turned up. 

Too many times where the others had enabled his behaviour. 

Because they didn't call him out. 

Yes Anxiety threw out insults - after he was insulted first or excluded from activities/videos. 

But he wasn't as dark and sinister as they made him out to be.

He was a worrier. He was evasive. He wanted them to play it safe.

Princey had come to terms that not all fairy tales ended in a Prince marrying a Princess.

Why hadn't it occurred to him that there might not be a bad guy either. 


	21. Chapter 21

Princey eventually had to use the bathroom.

He found Logic sitting in the hallway. 

Furiously writing. 

With difficulty. 

Given how he was crying. 

That group therapy thingy had been $@#%. 

But he was determined it would not be for nothing. 

Logan would not let Anxiety getting that upset be for nothing. 

Anxiety had finally opened up about his feelings. 

There was a lot of irrational negative thinking - jumping to conclusions, magnifying issues, mental filtering.

So much mental filtering, how was it possible for one to think so little of themselves.

Logan knew the others sides attitudes to Anxiety had only worsened his perception of himself.

Especially Logan's lack of emotions, his indifference had been perceived that he didn't care about Anxiety. 

But Logan could fix that.

No, he would fix that. 

"Logan what are you doing?" asked Princey.

"I am recording as much of Anxiety's outburst as I can recall, so I can go through all of his self deprecating statements one by one and debunk each and everyone of them. I will prove to him that even if he has not experienced periods of time in the past of happiness, kindness or contentment those experiences do not speak for his future. He can have a good happy life. He  _deserves_ that as much as anyone. And if he can't see sense of my arguments for that previous statement then I will physically fight him and beat some sense into him." 

Tears dropped onto the page. 

He didn't really need the notes, he wasn't likely to forget what Anxiety said in a hurry. 

"Why are you writing  _that stuff_ in  _his_ sketchbook?" hissed Princey.

Oh. 

"Oh #%$@" 

Lapse in concentration leads to carelessness.

He put the book down, took of his glasses and threw himself face first onto the floor and cried like a toddler. 


	22. Chapter 22

Logic sobbed.

The carpet smelt so bad. 

But it muffled his sobs, just a bit. 

Princey didn't know what to do. 

Logic would wake up the others!

Princey was used to slaying monsters. 

And carrying people off into the sunset bridal style.

And moisturizing twice. 

That was how you solved problems. 

He didn't know how to stop Logic crying, there wasn't anything to slay. 

Princey leant down next to Logic.

"Hey Logan don't cry, its okay"

"Is not! I want to help him"

"You are helping him"

"I want to help him better!" Logic banged his hands and feet on the floor.

"Shh, shh, you're doing your best these things take time."

"I want to help him now!" again Logic kicked and pounded the floor. 

"Shh Logic stop-"

"No don't want to!"

"You'll wake them up"

Too late.

"What's going on?" asked Patton poking his head out the doorway. 

 


	23. Chapter 23

Anxiety woke up.

He heard noises outside the room.

Crying?

Yes definitely crying. 

Patton was still holding him. 

He turned and shook him to wake him up. 

"Hey, how are you doin-"

Now there was thumping noises along with the crying. 

Patton sat up. 

Virgil sat up too, and moved closer to him. 

What was happening?

Patton stood up and walked over to the door. 

He made gestures for Virgil to stay on the bed. 

Virgil got up and followed him. 

Patton stuck his head out the door to find out what was happening.

Virgil ducked down lower underneath Patton and peaked out the door too. 

Logic was on the floor. Crying. And kicking the ground. 

This was all his fault. It always was. 

Princey looked up and whispered urgently to Patton.

"He's upset because -"

"I want to help him. I just want to help. Why can't I make him better!" More sobbing. 

"It-its because I'm a stupid heartless robot isn't it? How can I help anyone when I can't understand emotions and feelings?"

"I can't even talk to people without stupid flash cards! I'm just good for a thesaurus and math and-and um lists. I can't help anybody."

"And I'm bossy. I should let Patton or you help him. Nothing I have researched has done any good! He's still so upset and hurt."

Logic still had his face to the floor. He didn't realise that Princey wasn't the only one there. 

Anxiety felt his eyes water. 

All of the new rules and the scheduling to make sure someone was always with him and all the planning for the activities for therapy talk thingys. 

Logic worked so hard. 

To help him. 

And now Logic was crying on the floor because of him. 

It was his fault, he had hurt Logic. 

He didn't mean to. 


	24. Chapter 24

Patton walked over to Logic and knelt down too. 

He rubbed his back. 

Logic turned to face him. 

"P-Patton, I-I want to help but I c-can't!"

"Logan you are helping him."

"No. Nothing worked."

"Logic this isn't like an exam question. Where you solve the problem and write down the correct answer and leave the exam and that's the end of it."

Patton continued. 

"Helping Anxiety will take time. Some things might help him, some things might not."

 "Something that might help him one day may not work the next. Some days he may need more help than others. Some days might be really bad and he needs us all there. While other days he might not - but we can be there if he needs us to be. We can do what we can for him."

"We can support him. Talk to him. Be there for him. Love him."

"Some times we might not know what help he needs. Some times he might not know either." 

Logic had stopped crying now. He just sniffed. 

"On dark and rainy days we can be there to offer him an umbrella. And should we not have an umbrella we can get soaked together." declared Princey.

Logic didn't really understand what Princey meant. 

But he had calmed down a bit. 

He-he would keep trying to help Anxiety. 

Logic blinked. 

Anxiety had come out of the room and was kneeling next to Patton. 

Logic held his breath. How much had he heard. Was he mad? What should he say?

Anxiety reached out and stroked Logic's hair. 

"Pat, Pat. There, There. Everything is satisfactory and you are in no immediate danger"

Um.

Patton smiled. 

"How about all of us head back to bed. We all could use a rest."

Logic was still confused. 

Was Anxiety comforting him? Attempting to utilize one of the techniques he tried to teach him? Or was he joking?

Princey however seized this moment to scoop Logic up and carry him off into the bedroom. 

The others followed. 


	25. Chapter 25

Patton raced in front of Princey and pulled back the covers.

Princey then dumped Logic on the bed.

And started pulling off his shoes.

Patton started pulling off Logic's tie.

Anxiety went around to the other side of the bed and climbed in.

Logic protested against the others tugging at him.

But went quite and lied down when Anxiety patted him again. 

Rolled to the side so he was facing Anxiety. 

Morality came around to Anxiety's side and spooned him from behind.

All snuggly and warm again. 

Princey climbed in behind Logic.

He laid down on his back (when he falls asleep then he would turn cuddly).

Logan found the ice pack that was for Anxiety and placed it back onto his knuckles of his sore hand.

And held it there gently, so it stayed balanced. 

It was very sweet and comforting. 

Logic and Anxiety both looked away shyly. Even though their eyes were very close. 

Patton made sure everyone had enough blanket. 

And soon they all drifted off to sleep. 

 


	26. Chapter 26

Hot.

Augh too hot!

Hot and sweaty and uncomfortable. 

He was a awake-just. He kept his eyes shut. 

He wanted to go back to sleep but it was too hot.

Needed to get cool. 

Can't get rid of blanket - others using that. 

Patton - was still spooning him. 

He didn't want him to stop. 

Because he didn't want him to wake up -duh that was the only reason! He didn't need to be spooned, pfft whatever. 

Ugh so sleepy still. Just want to drift back to sleep. 

He unzipped his jacket as much as he could. 

He somehow managed to kick his jeans off. 

And pulled off that manoeuver without waking Patton. 

That was better. 


	27. Chapter 27

This was terrible. 

Just try to stay calm.

Don't overact.

He was not okay. This was not okay. 

Not okay. 

_Not okay._

**OH _GOD_ SO NOT OKAY. **

**Touching.**

**Hand.**

**On him.**

**Just resting there.**

**TOUCHING.**

He couldn't breath. 

Anxiety couldn't remember how to breath. 

He was panicking. 

He couldn't move. 

He didn't want to move. 

That would wake the others. 

He's asleep.

He didn't know what to do.

SCARED. This has never freaking happened before!

Well... that time... but they were just stopping the bleeding.

He didn't remember  _that_ time because of fear and pain and lightheadedness from blood loss. 

But he was fully aware now. 

Patton's not doing it on purpose.

And he was panicking. Oh god what should he do?

No one's ever  _touched_ his scars before.

Why the hell did he take his pants off?


	28. Chapter 28

Logic woke up.

Princey was crushing him with affection. 

What was it called? Spooning? 

An arm and a leg over him, practically climbing on top of him. His was breathing in his ear. Ew why?

But then he heard it. 

Panting, panicked gasps. 

That's what woke him up.

He looked at Anxiety. 

His eyes were wide with fear. 

Welling with tears. 

He-he wasn't breathing right.

"Anxiety what's wrong?" he whispered.

He couldn't breath. 

"Anxiety _please_ look at me" he urgently whispered. 

Finally Anxiety looked at him.

"Help."

"Please"

"It's alright Anxiety I'm right here." Logic spoke in his normal voice. 

Patton stirred. 

"No (gasp) shh d-don't wake others". 

More panicked gasps. 

"Anxiety listen to me, breath in for four seconds."

"Hold your breath for seven seconds."

"Now breath out for eight seconds."

That was so hard to do, he tried, so hard. 

But Logic kept repeating the numbers quietly to him. 

Soon he started to get it. 

"Keep it up, Anxiety, that's good keep going." 

Anxiety focused on Logic, he was strong and dependable and smart. 

He would be there for Anxiety. 

Even if it was to teach him how to breath. 


	29. Chapter 29

Anxiety's breathing was back to normal. 

It was such a relief. 

But he still looked upset and scared. 

Like he was trying to not to cry. 

"L-logic I-I need, um can you, help er."

He didn't know how to say it. 

"It's alright Anxiety, take your time -was it a bad dream?"

Anxiety shook his head slightly. 

"Um... h-hand."

Oh his hand (the one he punched the wall with) it must hurt!

Logic quickly scrabbled to find the ice pack. 

Hmm it wasn't that cold anymore but it might help. 

He held it up for Anxiety. 

"N-no not that um" 

Logic waited patiently. 

Anxiety took a deep breath. 

He needed to say it, Logic wasn't going to understand what he needed otherwise. 

"I-I can't move and-and P-P-Patton's hand - its on m-my l-leg, pl-please help me." 

Logic blinked. 

He couldn't move very well either (Princey had like a damn vice grip on him). 

But he was able to shift the blanket and look underneath. 

There was Patton's hand resting on Anxiety, on top of the many, many scars that littered his leg. 

Logic didn't like unnecessary or unannounced contact either. And those scars Anxiety had always kept hidden. This must be terrifying Anxiety.

Logic hoped this would suffice.

He reached down trying his hardest not to touch Anxiety and grabbed Patton's hand and pulled it away.

AsleepPatton somehow instinctively knew someone was holding his hand and squeezed it. And smiled and tried to cuddle up closer to everyone.

Anxiety looked at Logic and also gave him as small smile.

Logic had never seen someone so relived.

"... Thank you."

Logic held onto Patton's hand to make sure he didn't do it again.  


	30. Chapter 30

Logic and Anxiety didn't want to go back to sleep. 

But they weren't sure what to do now. 

They didn't want to wake the others up. 

Anxiety was lying there starting to relax again.

But now Logic had calmed him down, he was now aware of his own situation. 

God he was uncomfortable. 

He was holding hands with Patton. 

And Princey was treating him like a soft toy to cuddle. He was all over him. 

Princey shifted again and suddenly he was pressing his cheek against Logic's face. 

Logic sighed. 

Even when asleep Princey was insufferable.

Then; in a sing song voice.

"I like aeroplane jelly" 

What.

Logic brow furrowed. He tried (failed) to turn to see what Princey was going on about. 

Anxiety snickered.

"Um you guys may not know this, heck Princey may not even know this about himself, but um sometimes Princey sleep talks."

"It freaked me right out the first time he did it after you guys had me start sleeping in your beds." 

Logic raised an eyebrow. 

He was about to reply when Princey interrupted him.

"Your Highness Princess Taco, in order for our parade float to win this years competition we simply must do something to stand out. Therefore I insist you light it on fire." 

Anxiety snorted. 

"Oh don't you worry about Logan, I can handle him and his "safety concerns", you see I know his weakness." 

Logan frowned. He didn't like this one bit even if it was a dream. 

"What is Logan's weakness Princey?" - would he get a response from the sleeping man?

Princey leaned in close to Logic's ear. 

There was a pause. 

Logic waited and Anxiety was watching with curiosity to see what he would say. 

He whispered; " _I always fart into Logan's coffee."_

Logic shrieked with rage, turned and shoved Princey off the bed.

And then scrambled after him onto the floor, sat on top of him and started smacking him with a pillow.

"YOU DID  **WHAT**?" "YOU ARE DISGUSTING!" "HOW **DARE** YOU!"

Poor Patton got dragged along too across Anxiety and halfway off the bed because Logic forgot to let go of his hand. 

Anxiety tried to get Logic to calm down, telling him it was Princey's dream but he was laughing too much. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little humor.  
> I just wanted an excuse to write a sleep talking Princey.


	31. Chapter 31

Day 20.

It seemed like so long ago when Anxiety had screamed and shouted in the group therapy thingy.

The others avoided talking about it. Mostly. 

But now the swelling on his hand had gone down a bit. 

And Anxiety was actually feeling a bit better too.

The hole in the wall was still there though. 

Anxiety was beginning to suspect that it was still there because no one knew how to fix it. 

They had given his sketch books back. 

And apologized for taking them and going through them without permission. 

Morality said although the pictures were a bit sad they were drawn really good. 

Princey even asked him to show him how to draw that amazing spider web. 

Logic had given him a crisp fresh sketch book.

The new book smell was enticing.

Logic said that he was the least qualified to discuss art.

But he would be delighted if Anxiety wanted to show him his pictures. If he choose to.

Logic said some of his other drawings were a bit like the De Stijl movement - a reduction to the essentials, which he liked.  

Anxiety wasn't sure, all his drawing he had done with Patton recently.

Well, he was starting to like using all of the colors not just confined to black anymore. 


	32. Chapter 32

Later that afternoon it was just Logic and Anxiety in the living room.

Logic was reading something on his laptop.

Anxiety was scrolling through reddit. 

Logic had made himself a cup of coffee and Anxiety a green tea. 

Logic suggested Anxiety cut down on the caffeinated beverages. 

Anxiety found he didn't mind green tea all that much. 

It was nice that Logic had offered him a choice. 

Logic was now paranoid about his own drink though. 

Despite Princey swearing on his mothers grave that he has never ever done anything to Logic's beverages. 

Logic was quick to point out that none of them had a mother. 

Logic was fidgety today.

Anxiety noticed after awhile that he kept looking up at him and then quickly looking away when Anxiety looked up.

He kept adjusting his glasses when there was no need to.

And even started biting his nails.

That was a nervous tick that only Anxiety and Logic had - but Logic didn't do it as often as Anxiety.

Finally Logic stood up and walked over the couch Anxiety was on.

He cleared his throat.

"C-can I sit down?" he asked gesturing to the spot next to Anxiety.

Logic asking to sit next to him was about the same as Patton asking to hug him. But more serious.

"Um okay." said Anxiety.

Logic took a deep breath.

"I would like to discuss something with you."

Anxiety felt his heart stop.  


	33. Chapter 33

Anxiety's mind went into over drive. 

This is it. 

You knew this was coming. 

He's going to say it. 

That they can't do this anymore. 

They've had enough. 

They're feed up with looking after you. You're a bother, a waste of their precious time. 

They can't stand looking after you like some pathetic baby anymore - they want there lives back. 

They want things to go back to the way they were before they started focusing on you. 

They don't care if you go back to that cold world of lonely isolation. 

They don't want you anymore. 

Can you blame them after everything you said a few days ago?

You even broke their wall!

They can't stand you, they don't want you, they hate you, they hate you,  _they hate you, they hate you_ "Anxiety"  _they hate you, **they fucking hate you!**_

"ANXIETY! Listen to me breath!"

Numbers focus on the numbers. 

4, 7, 8

4, 7, 8,

4, 7, 8.

4, 7, 8.

"Anxiety -please do not go jumping to any conclusions. Yes I want to discuss something important with you and you -possibly- might find it distressing but there is no reason to lose control like that and go into an anxiety attack. Just breath for the moment. I'm here. I'm here for you - I'm not going anywhere. It's okay - You're okay." 

He sat there counting and focusing on his breathing for a few more minutes. 

Logic stayed with him and waited for him to calm down. 

Eventually Anxiety was breathing normally again but when he looked up his eyes were glassy. 

He was going to cry. 

This hurt. He thought things had changed. But-but ... now they had changed their minds and decided that they hate him again - it wasn't fair-

"Anxiety I was hoping to discuss with you the possibility of ... not right now but ... maybe some time in the future - if you feel like you can - because I think it would really be very beneficial um... considering attending counseling with a real therapist." said Logic nervously. 


	34. Chapter 34

"Counseling?"

"Yes."

...

"I wo-would have to talk to a stranger?"

"Um yes - but they would be a professional and you don't have to say anything you're not comfortable with."

"How long?"

"If you are referring to session times typically they are an hour long. If you are asking how long you would have to keep going to the counselor - that varies greatly on the individual." 

"So what? Like once a week?"

"Again this varies, from what I have researched there are a number of options. You can book-in for weekly sessions, but I have also found places that have monthly bookings and also places that accept you calling in to make a session whenever you need it - provided you give them some notice to fit you into there schedules with other patients, so you could book in a couple of sessions in the same week and then come back at a later date if needed."  

"What do the others think?"

"Both Patton and Roman think it would be beneficial for you also. We thought it would be better to bring up the idea one-on-one rather than with all of us here, so it did not come off as an intervention scenario. This is something we want you to consider and decide for yourself." 

"Hmm"

"Um also - not to overwhelm you with options but I have also found that there are group sessions available. You can go to a group therapy with the counselor and other patients-"

Anxiety quickly shakes his head at the idea of that many strangers. 

"- Or we can book in a session for the four of us. You, Patton, Roman and myself." 

"It will be expensive."

"Well... yes I suppose the fees can be a bit expensive but Anxiety your wellbeing is certainly worth the expense." 

"...Okay."

"... Really."

"Not right now! But-"

"Oh of course - We do not want to pressure-"

"But... yes. I-I think I want ... to try."

The others had done so much in the past few weeks. To help him feel loved, to help him heal, to help him move forward. 

This was a big step.

But it was a big step in the right direction. 

It would only work if he took that step. Even if the others forced him to go, it would never benefit him if he didn't try.

"I-I would like you guys to be there... at least at first, you know to make sure this quack knows what they're talking about."


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so for the next part we cover Anxiety's name. I have reread this (Oh man how did this become so long) and I can find one or two chapters were I switch from writing Anxiety to Virgil but I can't find anywhere were I have had the other sides specifically say his name. So I am working on the premise that they still don't actually know his real name - that's the only way these next chapters will work - If I have this wrong and there is a Chapter where they do say "Virgil" um just ignore that or tell me and I might edit it to make this all work. Phew.

Over the next few days they had been looking online at potential counselors. 

They had found one that Anxiety was willing to try.

Dr Picani. 

Logic researched him and he had plenty of the right credentials.

Roman found lots of reviews of previous people who used his services - his methods were sometimes a little unorthodox but his results where fantastic.

Roman figured they might need unorthodox seeing how Anxiety was a part of another person's personality - how were they going to actually explain that to the guy - where they going to say they were quadruplets?

Patton liked him because they found a photo of him online in his office and on the couch next him there was a teddy bear wearing a Stitch costume and some other toys. 

Patton also pointed out to Logan that he must be very smart because he was wearing a neck tie. 

So they were going to give this guy a try. And as Anxiety requested their first session they would come along for emotional support. 

If Anxiety liked the session they could book more for just Anxiety. 

So Patton called up to make the booking with the receptionist. He explained their group situation how there would be four of them but the session was specifically for just one member.

All was fine until the receptionist asked for the name of the group member who the session would be for.

Patton froze.

"Um well er the kiddo is um-"

"Oh is the individual a child?"

"Oh no, no, no sorry that's just a nickname I have for them. They are 28. Well they're a bit shy about their first name, can I please put the booking under Mr Sanders only?"

"Certainly." 

 


	36. Chapter 36

For the rest of the day Patton seemed well ...off. 

He wasn't as bright and bubbly as he normally was. 

But if the others drew attention to it - then he would become bright and bubbly again. 

Paste that bright smile onto his face. 

This went on for the rest of the day. 

That night they had planned a movie night because everyone would be together. 

As they were setting everything up Logan remembered to ask Patton if he called Dr Picani's office for their booking. 

"Oh yes I was able to book us all in and ... Anxiety." 

Patton's voice wobbled a bit. The others heard it.

It was odd - if anyone should be worried about the counseling session it should be Anxiety not Patton. 

"Is everything okay Dad?" Throw in the "Dad" title he likes that.

"Yeah, yeah it's noth- Everything's fine ... Anxiety."

Everything is not fine. 

Patton had tried to say "It's nothing".

But he couldn't.

Because it wasn't nothing. 

The others moved closer to Patton. 

"Patton what is it? Tell us please. We are encouraging Anxiety to open up and talk to others about his feelings - we should demonstrate the same."

Patton's eyes started to fill with tears. 

"It's -it's just. The receptionist today asked me what name the session was under. I-I had to tell her to just put it as Mr Sanders... because I don't know Anxiety's name. And I -I sorry kiddo but-but I've been thinking about it all day. You nearly died. We almost lost you. And-and I-I don't know wh-what your name is WAAHHH." 

Patton burst into tears. 

It wasn't nothing, it was important. 


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry just one chapter update this time -I'm sorry but I need sleep.   
> But I hope this is worth it.

Patton cried. 

And cried. And cried and cried some more. 

When Patton turns on the waterworks it's a torrential downpour. 

They did everything they could to comfort him. 

Slowly (many tissue boxes later) he calmed down just a bit. 

But even while they were tending to Patton, they did not want to pressure Anxiety into blurting out his name to get Patton to stop crying. 

So every time Anxiety opened his mouth and it looked like he might say it.

They stop him.

"It's okay kiddo you really don't have to."

"Look we know how private that is to you, you don't have to say, we understand."

"There will be a time you are willing to tell us but forcing yourself to do it now - even if it is to "cheer up" Patton is an unwise course of action"

So they got Patton to calm down without Anxiety saying.

_Something tugged at the back of Anxiety's mind._

_Why doesn't Patton know?_

Eventually they turned their attention to what they would have to do for the counseling session.

But you could also tell that Logan and Roman were just keeping up the chatter to keep Patton from crying again.

"Well we will just have to give Dr Picani a false name."

"Yes, if we go in and say this is Anxiety - he will probably draw a connection to Anxiety's mental state and the fact he is named after a negative feeling."

"And think we aren't taking this seriously - or being intentionally mean to Anxiety." 

"So maybe he can use one of our names. Anxiety would you like to be "Roman" in the counseling session?"

"That won't work! What would we call you then?!" 

"Um... Prince Charming?"

"Narcissist."

"Well you suggest something smarty pants."

"Perhaps Ann will suffice? Shorten form of Anxiety - easy to remember?" 

"That's more of a girl's name. What about Alexander?"

_Don't they know? He was sure he wrote his real name._

"Or something from Thomas's acting career - didn't he play someone called JD that you thought was a bit like Anxiety?" 

"I am offended that you are actually unsure of all the parts Thomas has played in his life!"

"It's not like I take a great interest in his attempts at professional make believe."

"Humph, You don't know what you're missing out on.... Anxiety um think about it, we don't want to pressure you into having to tell us your real name but if we go with a fake name it's probably something you should pick but just try and make it something that will be easy enough for the three of us to remember okay?"

"Uh yeah sure guys." muttered Anxiety. 

_Do they really not know his name?_

Logic smiled as Patton had finished up the last of his sniffles. 

"I think its time we get this movie night back on track, Princey can you assist me in the kitchen with the drinks and popcorn?"

While the others were busy in the kitchen, Patton got up to select the next movie. 

"Patton?"

Patton turned. "Yeah kiddo."

"Ab-about my name."

"Anxiety really it's okay, I just got a little emotiona-"

"Didn't the others show my note?"

"What note?"

The two of them looked at each other confused. 

The words left a horrible taste in his mouth but he got them out anyways. 

"My suicide note."


	38. Chapter 38

Patton and Anxiety just looked at each other.

You could hear Princey and Logan talking quietly in the kitchen making things for the movie. 

Their background noise the only thing that punctuated the others immense silence. 

Confusion etched still into their faces. 

Patton so eloquently summed up everything. 

"Huh?"

Anxiety shifted nervously. 

Confusion was replaced with guilt, regret and pained expression. 

Patton's expression shifted too. 

But it didn't loose the look for confusion completely. 

It just other emotions passed through or mixed in with it. 

Distress, anguish. 

Sadness and sorrow. 

Hurt. 

Anxiety finally broke eye contact and looked away.

After an eternity, Logan walked in carrying some drinks, Princey behind him with an enormous bowl of popcorn.  

Logan stopped and looked between them. 

"What happed?"

The others jumped both lost in their own thoughts. 

Logan put the drinks down on the table.

"What's wrong? What happened?" he asked more urgently taking a step towards Patton reaching out to touch his shoulder. 

Patton stepped away from him. 

"He says - his name was- why didn't you show-?" babbled Patton. 

"Patton slow down. What are you trying to say?"

"Anxiety says he wrote his name in his suicide note! _Why didn't you ever show it to me_?"

"What note?" asked Logan. 

 


	39. Chapter 39

Anxiety knew. 

They must have kept the note away from Patton. 

Never shown it to him. They didn't want to upset him anymore than already was. 

 

"What note?"

 

Huh?

Logic looked between Patton and Anxiety.

They both stared at him. Confusion again was the forthright expression on their faces.

But Patton still looked hurt.  

"Anxiety said -he asked why I didn't - _he said he wrote a suicide note_!"

Patton was having trouble getting the words out. His emotions were swirling in turmoil. 

Logic now looked confused. 

"No. There was no suicide note." 

Such as straightforward sentence. 

Patton looked at Anxiety, Logan looked at Anxiety. 

"Um...yeah there was."

Logan looked at him.  Confused expression started to change to disturbed, his eyebrows drawn in a deep frown. 

"There-wha... no." said more to himself than the room at large. "There wasn't. We never found any note!"

Anxiety winced. "I-I did though. I wrote one, put it in an envelope, left it on my bed. Then-then went to the b-bathroom and..."

He couldn't finish. 

He didn't want to remember that. But he remembers writing the note. 

I mean it was the last thing he was ever going to say to them. 


	40. Chapter 40

**Anxiety says he wrote a suicide note. There was no suicide note.**

These two sentences contradict each other. Therefore one must not be true. 

Logical, thought Logic. 

Now think. Which one is it. 

Logic without realising it started biting his nails - hard. 

 _The following train of though happens in a remarkably short amount of time._ Anxiety still is looking at him confused and Patton still looks hurt and like he is about to start crying again. 

Think.

 _ **"Left it on bed.**_ "

That night. Screaming. Bursting into his bedroom, on the right the small bathroom, screaming louder, Anxiety there lying in the bathtub. Blood. Everywhere so much blood. His arm cut-

 _no no no - think about the bed!_ \- but he can't remember if there was anything on bed when they rushed in. 

Blood. Too many of them in the small bathroom. Yelling. They needed to help him! Running - need bandages, need to stop the bleeding.

Anxiety quite. Stopped screaming. Unconscious, passed out - blood loss. Dead? NO NOT DEAD! He can't be dead. Please don't die. Needed to move him. His room - corrupting them! They need to help but they are panicking.

Out in the hall, yes. They moved him. Bandages stopped the bleeding. He's not going to die. Rest.

_Yes rest. - Think about the bed._

But no they didn't put him in his bed that night. They would be corrupted again and they needed to stay with him. Downstairs they took him downstairs. 

But he went back. They had to clean up. Blood, all that blood. Think - yes he went back, he was in the bathroom, he cleaned away all the blood and took the razor and found the others in the bathroom cabinets, Patton stayed downstairs with him to watch him, Princey -

Princey.

Princey came with him upstairs. He was in the bathroom, Princey was in his bedroom. They had to find all the things he used to hurt himself with. The razors were in the bathroom but Princey took the scissors from the desk and found a lighter under the bed. 

Bed. The bed. Princey.

Bed. 

Princey. 

 ** _"Left it on the bed."_**  

Logan was breathing heavily as he turned and looked at Princey. Anxiety and Patton looked at him too. 

Roman was pale, too pale. 

"You - you found his suicide note. _**And kept it from us!?"**_ cried Logan in disbelief. 

Princey tried to say something but for once in his life was speechless. 

Everything was going dark, his vision was tunneling in. 

The last thing he remembers is three sets of eyes staring at him. 

Princey swayed on his feet and then fainted. 

Falling backwards as he landed on the carpet all of the popcorn in the bowl he was holding flew up and showered his upper torso and face, covering him completely. 

It would have been hilarious.

You know if the situation wasn't so serious. 


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Must...find... time... *huff, huff* ... to ... update

A couple days had passed. 

It was bad. 

Patton and Logan were still fighting with Roman. 

But not the yelling at the other person kind of fighting. 

Or throwing out insults kind of fighting. 

The other kind. 

Worse. 

They weren't speaking. 

After they all helped him come to after fainting and made sure he was alright well-

Well they had asked for the note. 

But Roman hadn't given it to them.

"R-Roman where is Anxiety's note?"

He froze, he stalled. 

"I-I, its - well it-it really doesn't matter now does it."  
  
"What?"

"We don't need it. Why dwell on that moment. He-he's okay now see so there's really no point- " he trailed off as the others expressions turned. 

That was moment they started fighting. 

Anxiety had never seen Patton expression turn so cold. 

He didn't think it was possible for Logan to become even more neutral and expressionless. 

After they had made sure he didn't have a concussion - they left. 

And they hadn't spoken to each other since. 

Emotionally the other two were a mess. 

Patton had never been mad enough at another person to not talk to them.

Everything about this was hurting him too. 

Logan couldn't comprehend ever being this upset. 

He found emotions he didn't know he had.

But they still wouldn't talk to Roman. 

If Roman came into the room or walked passed Logan in the hallway the other would stare blankly through him. 

Continue what he was doing and pretend he wasn't there. 

Patton it was harder, if they came near each other Patton would turn away.

Eventually find a reason to leave to the room because he couldn't stand being near him. 

It had been getting worse. 

Anxiety didn't know what the hell to do. 

You know the shit has hit the fan when Patton doesn't set a place for you to eat at the table. 

 


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Must *huff**huff* update, so tired.

Oh god it had gotten so bad.

Today Roman didn't come out of his room. 

At all. 

This was all his fault. 

Why did he write that stupid note.

Who writes a suicide note? Its so cliché. 

He had to do something. What?

Talking to Logan and Patton didn't work. They were still mad at Princey. 

Anxiety tried to reason Roman's point. 

He  _hadn't_ actually died so they - um - yeah. 

Patton looked like he was about to cry.

"I-I know you didn't actually die. But...but you left something for us and-and Roman took it away." his voice breaks.

"I c-can't believe he did that, we-we're supposed to be family." 

Logan growls. "Afterwards when we saw your.... past injuries, I was determined to research everything I could to stop you from hurting yourself again. I am certain what you wrote in that note would have given us insight into your mind set and would have helped enormously with us trying to understand your mental state and what you were going through. And he-he just kept it." Logan slams his fists on the arm rest of the couch.

"I-I can tell you now what was in it"

"No Anxiety -its just that - its just we... _oh who the hell hides someone's suicide note!_ " 

Logan and Patton just wanted to stay mad at Roman. 

Logan's mood did not improve when he walked past the royals bedroom and heard the other singing Disney tunes.

But Anxiety had a gut feeling that Roman was singing to escape the silence. 

That's what he did with his PG 13 music. 

All those times he was alone.

The loneliness. 

Patton and Logan didn't understand. 

That crippling isolation. 

Sometimes you talk to yourself or play music to hear the sound of a voice. 

And pretend they were talking to you. 

 


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 43 but whose counting.  
> (seriously though OMG I can't believe how long this fic has gotten)

"Hey Logan buddy - you awake" Anxiety asked softly.

No answer, just gentle breathing. 

Good.

Anxiety slipped out of the bed. 

Threw his hoodie on over his night clothes.

And quietly slipped out of the room. 

And started making his way down the hall to Roman's room. 

He was just checking on Princey. 

Worried about him? Pfft -No. Whatever. It was just-

Okay. Fine. Yeah he was worried about him, so shut up. 

He quietly opened Roman's door and peaked inside. 

It wasn't completely dark, there was a glow from fairy lights scattered around the room.

Roman was in bed. 

Oh what now? Everyone else had gone to bed, of course he would be asleep too-

*sniffle* 

Anxiety froze. 

*sob*

Oh. _Oh no._

 Roman was crying. 

Anxiety quietly walked over and sat on the side of the bed.

"Roman? Roman it's okay man. I-I'm here." 

Roman was lying down, his eyes half closed. 

Slowly he sat up and leaned into Anxiety. 

Anxiety stiffened slightly at the embrace, he still wasn't sure what his plan was coming here. 

*sob* "I'm sorry. It was an accident." the royal mumbled into the others shoulder, eyes slightly unfocused. 

"Oh Roman, look you need to talk- "

"I didn't mean to make Logan pregnant."

....

Oh come on - seriously he was sleep talking again? And crying too?

"Um"

"I thought it was my toothbrush." Roman starts crying a bit more.

"Of course you did. Yeah it was an accident - don't worry everything will be alright. We will take good care of Logan-"

"NO - I will take responsibility."

"Okay you do that then."

"But I'm so scared. What if I'm not a good mummy?"

"We will support you. Both of you. Me, Thomas and Patton. How's that sound hmm? Stop crying and lie down, its time to go to sleep now."

Roman settled himself back down on the pillows. 

"No that won't work." he muttered quietly. "Patton says he's going to fist fight you to be the god parent."

"Oh we'll work something out."

Anxiety waited a few moments to make sure Roman was settled back into sleep - without crying and then stood to leave. 

But as he started to walk out something caught his eye in the dim light. 

On the desk.

It was his suicide note. 

He picked up the envelope with confusion. 

Roman hadn't opened it. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for the return of SleeptalkingPrincey.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your wonderful comments on the last chapter - I've been a bit busy so I haven't been able to reply but I wanted to try and get a few more chapters out because I don't think I will be able to next week.

"He hadn't opened. Really?" asked Logan for the tenth time.

"Yes it was sealed."

It was morning. 

Anxiety was sitting at the breakfast table with Logan and Patton. 

Anxiety kept stealing glances at the stairs, looking for Roman. 

Last night he put the note back onto the desk and wrote another note to Roman:  Please come out tomorrow, we can talk to the others together about this - Anxiety. 

So Anxiety was waiting for him to come. 

But he told the others about last night. 

How the note was closed. 

How Roman was crying in his sleep. 

How Roman was crying and talking about Logan and Patton in his sleep. 

Okay he might have omitted exactly what Roman said in his sleep but still. 

The others were upset. 

"He was really crying about us?" asked Patton for the tenth time.

"Yes. Will you two please talk to him?" asked Anxiety. "I-I remember all those times that I would get anxious - make Thomas anxious - and mess things up for everyone. When-when I did that and you thought I was doing it on purpose and you guys didn't talk to me or ignored me or told me go away. I know you were mad. But It-it hurt. Being alone hurts. I-I know hiding my suicide note was terrible but ...just don't hurt him like this."

"...yes" said Logan "I believe my emoti- my temper may have made me act rashly."

"I-I was just so-so upset. That I didn't care how I was treating him because I didn't care if I was hu-hurting him or not. Oh how could I have been so cruel, I'm a terrible father." cried Patton.

"Don't worry Anxiety. We will talk to him when he comes down."

But Roman didn't come down for breakfast. 

Anxiety waited. 

Around lunch he slipped another note under the door and left a cup of tea outside.

But Roman didn't come down that afternoon. 

Together they went and knocked. 

No answer. 

Patton said because he was a father he could knock and then barge into a sides room anyway because parents had that kind of authority. 

But Roman wasn't there. 


	45. Chapter 45

Roman wasn't in his room. 

Or his bathroom.

Or under his bed (they don't know why Patton checked there but he did.)

Because it was obvious where he had gone. 

On the wall opposite of the bed there was another door. 

It was wide open. 

It was the door that led into the realm of pure imagination. 

Roman could activate DayDream mode in the mind scape. 

But entering the realm of pure imagination was different. 

You had to go through Roman's room and well...

Everything was imaginary - it was where Roman created whole worlds, lands of flight and fantasy, a place for all his adventurous quests and things Thomas could only dream about. 

The others _could_ go in. 

But it was rule that they _must_ go with Roman. 

Roman had power in that realm.

The others had _some_ power but (more importantly) they had almost _no_ control. 

Think Tiger shark. Now think what Patton thinks a Tiger shark is. Okay now think about Patton imaging that into realty. Then add in roller-skates, a tambourine and a picnic basket. Yeah. 

The others were not to go into imagination without Roman. 

The door to imagination was wide open. 

Inside the others could see a large grassy field and beyond that a dark, dense and foreboding forest.

It was raining steadily. A bitter cold blew through the door making the others shiver.

Logan held onto the frame and leaned inside.

"ROMAN?"

But the field was empty.

Logan closed the door.

"We will just have to wait until he comes back." 


	46. Chapter 46

The others waited. 

But Roman wasn't back by night.

They tried to go to sleep. 

But Anxiety and Patton kept getting up every hour to go see if he was back. 

Cause they thought they heard a noise. 

Each time. It must be him. 

At 2am Logan yelled at them to go to sleep. 

They didn't sleep very well. 

In the morning Roman still wasn't back.

They went to the door again and opened it.

It was still raining. 

Logan held onto the back of Patton's shirt as he leaned in.

"ROMAN BREAKFAST IS READY!"

The field was empty, filled with large muddy puddles.

"IT'S TOAST WITH CROFTERS... BUT I CAN MAKE YOUR FAVOURITE WAFFLES IF YOU LIKE."

Still nothing but the sound of the rain.

The others left Roman's room sadly.

"Do-do you think he's okay - like is there food in imagination?" asked Patton.

"...um... Yes -yes of course there is. Remember you told me about that time he took you there and there were igloo's made out of ice cream!" said Logan.

"Guys... what if something's happened to him." asked Anxiety.

Patton looked worriedly at Logan.

Logan tried to mask his concern.

"Roman has complete control in imagination - there is literally no situation that he cannot dream or create his way out of."

Anxiety chewed his inner cheek nervously.

He didn't want to ask what was on his mind.

He really didn't want to think about it.

But.

But what if Roman imagined something bad?

Imagined something hurting him?


	47. Chapter 47

The morning past - still no Princey.

Lunch - still no Princey.

By now time seemed to crawl by. 

Minutes seemed like hours. 

Hours seemed like an eternity. 

They didn't know what to do. 

They all kept going back and checking. 

Just in case he had come back. 

But he wasn't there. 

They were all getting upset. 

Patton broke down and cried a bit. 

Logan kept biting his nails staring into space. 

Anxiety was getting anxious. 

It was too much. 

He wanted Roman back. 

**All my fault.**

So anxious. 

He went into Roman's room again.

This time.

Please. 

No- still no Roman. 

**It's your fault he's gone.**  


	48. WARNING RELAPSE

Anxiety stood in the middle of Roman's room.

Breathing was becoming harder. 

He gripped his arms tight, digging his nails in. 

Roman wasn't here. 

He wanted Roman back. 

He wanted to go into imagination and find him.

But he couldn't. 

They couldn't without Roman with them. It was the rule. 

**He wanted Roman back.**

Hot tears spilled out of his eyes. 

He looked at the desk. 

His unopened suicide note was still there. 

**This wouldn't have happened if you had just died.**

His other note he wrote to Roman asking to talk to the others was still there. 

The others were just as upset as him. 

**You made the others upset.**

**All because of your suicide note.**

He wanted Roman back.

He wanted everything to go back to normal.

He wanted them all to be happy.

**They _were_ happy - you ruined it.**

On Roman's desk there were all his art things.

His coloured pens, pencils, glitter, glue, stickers. 

But something caught his eye. 

It was a small delicate utility knife. 

Roman must use it for scrapbooking or something. 

Rules. 

There were rules. 

But Roman being gone disrupted the rules. 

**He wanted Roman back.**

**It was his fault Roman was gone.**

Anxiety was not to be left alone. 

Anxiety almost jumped with the realisation that Logan and Patton weren't with him. 

Anxiety was not to have sharp things. 

The utility knife gleamed. 

**It's your fault.**

Anxiety grabbed it. 

Walked into Romans bathroom. Sat on the edge of the bathtub. 

**He just wanted Roman back.**

Rolled up his sleeve. His hand was shaking. It had been so long. 

He cut. 

It wasn't deep. 

It stung. 

The blood looked so bright. 

It-it didn't feel good.

**This -this hurts.**

He made another cut. 

And another. 

A few drops fell onto the floor. 

His breath was coming out in gasps. He felt light headed.

And he felt like he wanted to be sick.

It didn't feel good. 

**This doesn't feel good, why?**

Deeper?

...no

No. He wanted Roman back.

**How was _this_ going to get Roman back?**

It wasn't. 

 

Abruptly he stood up. And then felt so faint he nearly fell over. 

He threw the knife away. 

Grabbed the sides of the sink and glared into his reflection.

Ignored the small trail of blood dripping into the sink.

BREATH.

He then walked out of the bathroom. 

Searched Roman's wardrobe and found a small scarf. 

Wrapped it around his cuts. The blood didn't seep through. 

Good. 

Rules. 

The others weren't allowed into imagination unless Roman was with them.

Fuck it. 

He kicked open the door. 

**He was going to get Roman back.**


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god look it's an update.

Anxiety's bravo lasted about 50meters into imagination

Then his anxiety and doubts kicked in. 

What was he doing? 

He stood in the middle of the grassy field and looked back towards the door that lead to Roman's room.

Well it was now more of a lake than a field.

It was still raining and the place had flooded.

He couldn't do this? Who was he kidding. 

He was Anxiety. Like he could do anything. 

He stood there frozen like a deer in the headlights. 

The water came up to his ankles.

His shoes and socks were soaked. 

The cold wind blew hard and heavy raindrops fell.

It had been less than a minute and he was already sopping wet and shivering like a poor wee lost lamb. 

Looking around apart from the door, there was nothing except dark forest.

It surrounded the field. 

Anxiety felt very exposed. 

He felt like he was being watched. 

Something was definitely watching him from those trees. 

He should go back.

There were a million reasons why he should go back.

It was dangerous here. He didn't know where he was meant to go.

Patton and Logic didn't know he was here.

He was totally unprepared for this. 

He was going to get hypothermia. 

He was going to get lost and wouldn't be able to find his way back. 

He should at least go back and get an umbrella-

_Something touched his leg._


	50. Chapter 50

Anxiety screamed.

And jumped back from whatever terrifying monster was trying to eat him. 

But he lost his balance and fell backwards into the water. 

While he was still screaming. 

So he choked as he mouth filled with water. 

He was going to drown and then get eaten and then-

He sat up, coughing and flailing hopelessly struggling to crawl - swim? backwards away from the danger. 

Ankle deep water is very deep when you are horizontal in it. 

He had about as much grace and control as Patton's attempt at doggy paddle. 

But he had to get away from that terrifying ... umbrella?

Anxiety stopped thrashing and looked at it. 

Oh good it wasn't a monster. 

It was a bright red single person umbrella. 

Floating upside down in the field lake. 

It seemed to float closer to Anxiety. 

Anxiety stood up and cautiously picked it up. 

It had a lady bug pattern on it. 

Anxiety twirled it around in his hands - but it felt happy. Like it wanted to twirl. 

The umbrella, not Anxiety - Anxiety wasn't happy.

"Well it's not like I need you _now_. Look at me, I might as well start swimming."

Anxiety stopped twirling it. He could almost feel it telling him "Not my fault."

Anxiety lifted it over his head to stop the rain that was still pelting down. 

He gripped the umbrella for support. It felt like his lifeline. 

He could still see the door behind him. 

There were a million reasons why he should go back. 

Looking ahead at the foreboding dark forest.

He wanted to find Roman.

That was the one reason he needed to move forward. 


	51. Chapter 51

Anxiety reached the edge. 

Where grassy field (now giant puddle) met the start of the forest. 

As he had gotten closer to the forest he had seen a path. 

And made a beeline for it. 

Now he hovered at its edge, terrified that if he stepped onto it that would be the signal for something to jump out of the trees and eat him.

He could still go back...

He could only guess where the door was now, it was too hard to see it through the rain.

The wind blew and caught his red umbrella.

It pulled forward in the wind.

But Anxiety felt it was almost like the umbrella was impatiently trying to pull him onto the path.

Telling him to stop wasting time already.  

Anxiety frowned "Will you stop it, there's no need to rush in there. Just wait-"

Lightning crashed overhead. 

Nope. _Nopenopenope_.

Anxiety sprinted down the path. 

 _Can't be standing in the middle of an open field with a metal umbrella acting like a lighting rod._  

Thunder boomed. 

Anxiety ran faster and faster down the path. 

The forest started getting denser, the trees closing in on both sides. 

_Good. Need trees. Protect from being electrocuted. Please don't let me die!_

When he couldn't run anymore the forest had become so close together it was thick and suffocating. 

If it wasn't for the rain collecting on the top leaves and falling down like heavy stones onto him, he wouldn't need the umbrella. 

The forest canopy had completely blocked out the sky. 

Okay, so I won't get hit by lightning but now its so dark I can hardly see. Great. 

More lightning flashed and lit up the area. 

This didn't help much, briefly he saw the path still stretching far, far ahead for him to follow. 

But it also created frightening shadows with the branches of the trees. 

Fears lurking in Anxiety's mind seem combine with those shadows. 

Shakily Anxiety pushed forwards, thrusting his little lady bug umbrella out to the sides if he thought something was there. 

It was his trusty shield. 

His only protection.

His only defence

His only -WHAT IS THAT? I'M GOING TO DIE, DON'T EAT ME!

"DON'T EAT ME!" he screamed that last part out loud. 

He stood trembling with his umbrella in front of him blocking his view. 

Slowly he lowered it. 

A fluffy brown bunny had popped its head out of a hole. 

Deciding Anxiety wasn't interesting anymore, it disappeared again. 

Anxiety could have sworn the umbrella "felt" impatient, urging him to hurry up and get a move on. 

 

 

 

 

Before something that actually could eat him came along.

Anxiety shuddered. Don't think about that. 

Don't imagine anything like that. 

He was already battling Princey's imagination.

He doesn't need to add his own. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unintended... but I am starting to really like this umbrella and with each chapter I seem to be writing more and more about it.


	52. Chapter 52

Anxiety started shivering now. 

He really was quite wet from falling over in that field.

The path in the woods seemed to be on an incline.

If the burn in his calves was anything to go by. 

He could feel the umbrella urging him forwards. 

Lucky thing - it doesn't have to suffer leg cramps and exhaustion. 

How long had he been in these woods anyway?

Felt like forever. 

At the top of the hill he stopped to try and pull himself together.

Then he saw it. 

Not to far away, through the canopy of trees. 

Towers - no - well yes but they were definitely all part of the same building. 

A castle!

Roman would be in the castle!

It was so cliché that wannabe Disney princess. 

Anxiety grabbed up the umbrella and jogged onwards.

He was feeling invigorated, he was nearly there.

He had nearly found him.

Anxiety was so happy.

He was definitely going to smack Roman in the head with this umbrella. 


	53. Chapter 53

Anxiety debated whether it was a good idea to shout out for Roman.

And get him to come outside. 

So he didn't have to go inside the castle. 

But what if something else heard his shouts and came out instead. 

Shouting wasn't a good idea. 

Anxiety felt that he should be as quite as possible. 

This castle was creepy. 

He didn't want to go inside. 

Something was off, something very wrong. 

He peaked around the stone wall. Hoping Roman would walk by and he could signal him and they could go home.

Nope. The huge foyer was still deserted.  

He really didn't want to go inside. 

It was so creepy - why did it look like that?

The colours - that's the main thing wrong with it. 

The colours were there but they were... faded, grayish, dull. 

It was like the life had been sucked out of all the colours for everything in the building. 

Anxiety looked down at the gray/red carpet. No red carpet should be that lackluster. 

Not that that had stopped Anxiety freaking out over it though. 

Who has a freaking red carpet leading out from the castle, out the courtyard all the way into the start of the forest anyway?

Anxiety can't walk on a red carpet! He's Anxiety - he's not worthy enough to walk on something that posh. 

He would get it dirty with muddy footprints. 

So he had managed to walk around to the side of the red carpet all the way up to the main entrance.

That had been even more nerve racking. Where was everyone?

There should be some guards or something there to kick him out of the place. He shouldn't be allowed to walk straight up to a fancy castle like this.

 Although the gardens did need some attending to. 

They were filled with beautiful plants but unlike the surrounding forest the plants were withered and drooping. 

But even though it was clear that flowers were supposed to by bright cheerful hues, just like the rest of the castle, their colours were messed up. 

It was like someone had put a gray filter over your eyes when looking at this castle. 

Anxiety gripped umbrella tightly. No way was he going to leave umbrella behind. 

But he couldn't walk through the main entrance like this - he was still a bit wet - what if he dripped water on the floor?

Anxiety started walking around the side of the castle. 

A big place like this must have a servants entrance. 

That would be an appropriate place for him to enter. 

 


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a single chapter tonight - sorry - but will try to add more soon.

Anxiety had found a side entrance to enter the castle through. 

And this castle was seriously messed up. 

The entrance led to some kitchen areas and a laundry. 

In the laundry he had grabbed what looked like a clean towel to try off. 

Despite the fact that the towel had that gray colour fadedness - it had looked luxurious.

It was one of those thick fluffy soft towels almost like a cloud.

But when Anxiety touched it, it felt like sandpaper. Rough and itchy on his skin.

He dried himself and umbrella off as much as he could and then went back into the kitchen.

No one was around, so nothing was cooking on old fashioned stoves, wood fire oven, cauldron(?) in the empty fire place.  

But there was some fruit, vegetables, waxed sealed cheeses on the table, dried meat hanging from the ceiling. 

Anxiety was a bit hungry so he picked up a faded red apple. 

He took a bite and immediately spat it back out. 

The flesh of the apple looked fresh and juicy but it tasted like ash. 

Anxiety was starting to have doubts that Roman would be in a terrible place like this. 

Why was everything so messed up?

Was this castle something Roman started imagining but then didn't bother finishing, so all the details of what a magnificent castle should be like were missing?

But Roman wasn't in the forest that Anxiety had to walk through to get here. 

And the forest had been complete - all the colours were correct and the smells and sounds and textures were correct. 

There were even woodland creatures living in that forest. 

So Roman should be able to create something and it should be able to stand alone without his constant attention - right?

Anxiety wished he knew more about how Imagination worked. 

It wasn't something Roman had discussed in depth with Anxiety - why would he? They had never gotten along. 

Anxiety had only been in Imagination with the others twice and he suspected that he was only even invited on Patton's insistence. 

The most the others had talked to Anxiety about Imagination was to tell him to keep away from it.  Roman had not wanted Anxiety in his domain. 

He had heard stories from Patton about how much fun he had had in Imagination. 

Fun that Anxiety had always missed out on.

This castle really didn't seem to fit in with any of those stories or anything about Roman. 

Anxiety hesitated before cautiously making his way into the main section of the castle.

Even if Roman wasn't here, maybe he would find a clue.

Or he could go to the tallest tower and see if he could see another place he needed to go.

 

 

**Note:The two previous times Anxiety had been in Imagination had frightened him: The first Roman had changed day to night to show off the constellations, Logan and Patton marvelled at the beauty in the stars, Anxiety was alarmed by the sudden darkness. The second time Roman had imagined them underwater and although they did not need to breath, the bubbles escaping Anxiety's mouth had thrown him into a panic.**

 

 


	55. Chapter 55

Anxiety explored more of the rooms in the castle.

And decided that this would be an awesome place - if everything wasn't messed up.

If everything wasn't lacking in quality.

Or broken or just did the opposite of what you expected it too. 

There was a grand dancing ballroom - but the floor was so slippery he kept losing his balance.

There was swimming pool - that was filled with gray/green algae... and Anxiety swore that was a shark fin.

There was a room with a wide screen TV and couch. The couch had sharp springs sticking out of it.

The TV had the latest game system hooked up - but the screen was stuck on the loading page. 

There was a gym - Anxiety couldn't lift anything or get any of the equipment to move. 

Anxiety wasn't that fit, so maybe this was the only room in the place where everything worked right. 

Anxiety pushed open another door. It was an art room. There was an easel in the middle of the room, surrounded by paints. 

There were canvases all over the walls - but there was paint splashed all over the pictures. 

So it was just a great big grayish/brown ugly blob. 

There were even canvases thrown all over the floor, these were also covered in paint and some even smashed to bits. 

Anxiety was about to move on when it saw it. The paint pots next to the easel. 

There colors were bright and correct. 

Anxiety raced into the room, after all the dull grayness, seeing real colors again was exciting!

The canvas in the middle of the room was bare, Anxiety picked up the nearest paintbrush (it was stiff and all the bristles stuck out at odd angles). 

And dunked it into the beautiful purple and did a quick doodle of a storm cloud with a lighting bolt. 

The paint was fresh and wet. 

Then... it faded to the same grayness as the rest of the castle. 

Anxiety didn't understand why he felt so disappointed. 

"You know, artistic talent is a gift... that was obviously given to someone else."

 


	56. Chapter 56

Anxiety jumped (possibly shrieked like a girl) and whirled around in a panic. 

He lost his grip on umbrella and it was accidently flung across the room.

It smacked into the wall and then on the floor. Anxiety could almost feel it "Really? - really?!? Rude!"

It wasn't his fault. 

He hadn't heard anyone come up behind him.

It was like Patton had just appeared. 

Wait, Patton?

Huh?

Anxiety was gasping with fright, wh-wh-what was Patton doing here?

Anxiety expected to get a really, really like really big telling off for running away into Imagination.

A worse telling off than that time he said a naughty word in front of him. 

Wait, why...why was Patton the same gray faded colour as the castle. 

And-why did Patton say that about his attempt at drawing.

That wasn't very nice. 

But Patton just smiled at him and then kicked over the easel, and stomped on it so hard his food went through it. 

Then he picked up the bright blue paint and poured it all over Anxiety's storm cloud. 

Slowly the blue colour faded to a gray/blue completely covering Anxiety's work. 

Okay -now that wasn't very nice. 

Patton turned back to look at Anxiety. 

He was still smiling. 

"That was a terrible drawing. Pathetic. Something like that isn't even good enough for Thomas to draw on a used napkin."

What-what was going on? Patton wouldn't say something like that - ever.

This wasn't the real Patton. This was an imaginary Patton. 

Why did a Patton this mean exist? 

"Nothing you do is good enough! No wonder Thomas had to get Joan to help write the scripts for the Sander Sides videos."

Anxiety moved back as quickly as he could without actually running, not taking his eyes off this Patton.

He reached down and grabbed umbrella and walked backwards out of the room, as he watched the Patton kick the canvas some more. 

"If you can't do anything creative then Thomas can just make a video of me playing with goo and mixing paint. It would definitely entertain his viewers."

Anxiety shut the door and retreated down the hallway. But the fake Patton didn't come out of the art room. 

 


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that its taken me so long to update this and my other fics, I've been having some problems at work that have been taking up a lot of my time, hopefully I can get back into writing more frequently soon.

Anxiety had convinced himself that if there was a fake Patton in the castle.

Then there probably was a fake Logan too.

That knowledge didn’t prepare him for actually meeting the fake Logic.

He had been cautiously wandering around the castle some more.

Praying that he didn’t run into anyone else except Roman.

But of course, with his luck that was never going to happen.

He opened another door.

The room inside was a classroom, no, more like a university lecture theatre.

It was big and intimidating.

It would have fit a lot of people if it wasn’t empty.

Anxiety went to close the door but,

“ _You’re late_.” snapped Logic.

Anxiety jumped. He hadn’t seen Logic there.

He-he was sure the room was empty -wasn’t it?

But Logic was sitting at the desk at the front of the room.

He was furiously writing something on a stack of papers.

He didn’t even look at Anxiety.

He was like the fake Patton, devoid of all the right colours.

But because Logic usually wore black it wasn’t as noticeable.

He almost was like the real one.

The fake Logic looked up at Anxiety angrily.

“What precisely are you waiting for? A welcoming parade? Class is in session take your seat!”

Anxiety froze like a deer in the headlights.

Before he could do the sensible thing (slam the door and run), fake Logic got up and stormed towards him.

Fake Logic grabbed him under the arm and forcefully pulled him into the room.  

Anxiety was pushed towards the seats as fake Logic snatched Umbrella out of his hands and tossed it into a box at the side of the room, with several others.

Anxiety started breathing heavily.

Which one was his seat again?


	58. Chapter 58

Anxiety still couldn’t move.

He couldn’t remember which one was his seat.

But the whole theatre was empty.

So, he should just take any seat.

But, but what if he sat somewhere that was someone elses spot?

Even if there were no assigned seats that would be really awkward.

He’d have to get up and move again in front of everybody.

And there were so many people here.

And they were all staring at him, because he was still standing up the front.

Anxiety shook his head, hadn’t this place been empty?

But now it was full of people.

All staring down at him, whispering, some were smirking at him.

But at least now he could see his spot.

It was the only empty chair left.

Next to a young middle school aged Thomas.

Huh. Thomas wasn’t that young anymore – was he?

Thomas looked miserable to be in this class too.

Spitballs were stuck to the side of his cheek.

Fake Logic clapped him on the shoulder. Anxiety jumped again.

“Well, seeing as you're so adamant in holding up the class by dawdling to your seat you can answer the equations on the board.”

Oh no, not that, in front of all these people. The equations looked hard.

Suddenly someone said loudly, “Look he isn’t even wearing any pants.”

Anxiety’s head whipped back to the crowd staring at him.

As a whole they started grinning, snickering and laughing at him.

Some even pulled out their phones and pointed them at him.

He looked down at his pale legs and his tighty whities.

How could he have come to school without his pants?!?

Teacher steered him in front of the board and gave him a whiteboard marker.

“Off you go.”

Anxiety felt sweat beading on his forehead.

He fidgeted, trying to subtly pull his jacket down to cover himself.

As he struggled to decipher the equations, so he could sit down.

**ab23=cd32 when ef5 is < than zy-6 only in leap years when cd is > ab and an odd number. How much pie does each goat get? Also explain the correlation to Shakespeare.  **


	59. Chapter 59

Anxiety threw himself out the theatre door.

Slamming it behind him and leaned heavily against the opposite wall.

He was breathing heavily.

He looked down. He had never been so relieved to see his pants.

He couldn’t believe how long he had stayed in that room with Fake Logic.

And the rest of the fictional class.

It wasn’t real, none of it was real. Not even teenager Thomas was real.

He shouldn’t feel bad for running out.

It wasn’t real. He _wasn’t_ stupid for not knowing any of the questions Fake Logic was asking.

He wasn’t. He wasn’t. He wasn’t.

Most of the questions he was asked about didn’t even make sense.

But fake Logic was so mean.

After Anxiety had finished questions on the board.

Fake Logic had made him still stand in front of everyone while he pointed out everywhere Anxiety had gone wrong.

How could someone be so dumb that they didn’t know goats would just eat Shakespeare after the equation?

Finally, the Teacher had let Anxiety sit down.

But then came the exam.

Anxiety didn’t know how to answer any of them.

_How would you make a surprise party even more surprizing? What can you add to an outfit to make it stand out more? Name a truly unique gift? Describe in detail an original idea. Invent a new online challenge._

Worse was teenage Thomas kept giving him pleading stares – he wanted to copy his answers.

Somehow as soon as Anxiety handed in his paper, fake Logic had graded them all and announced to everyone that only he and Thomas had failed.

But then it got worse.

Anxiety and Thomas were paired up.

And they had to give the class their presentations.

Poor Anxiety was still in his underwear.

First, they had to make up on the spot a catchy new jingle, then a romantic love song.

Then Logic made them act out improv scenes.

But teenage Thomas was getting stage fright and tongue tied.

Everyone was laughing at them.

And Logic was snapping at Anxiety that it was all his fault.

Logic said he needed to help Thomas more, why wasn’t he working hard enough?

Logic said all Anxiety’s ideas were terrible. None of them could be used. Why wasn’t he being more creative? Why was he letting Thomas down?

Anxiety wanted to cry. Creativity wasn’t his department.

Wait… that’s right, creativity wasn’t his department. What was he doing here?!?

That was when Anxiety was jolted to his senses and ran out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you with a keen eye, don't panic!  
> I know that he left umbrella behind, next chapter I'm going to make him quickly duck back into the room and grab it.


	60. Chapter 60

Anxiety stared at the closed door for several minutes. 

He didn't want to open it. 

He didn't want to go back in there.

But he had forgotten umbrella. 

He needed to get it back. 

He didn't know why he needed it. Technically it wasn't even real. It was imaginary just like everything else here. 

He just did. 

Shaking he opened the door back to the lecture theatre. 

It was empty again. 

Cautiously peaking his head inside he saw the box of umbrella's. His bright red one stood out beautifully.

Anxiety started to walk to the box. 

"You're late."

Anxiety stopped breathing. 

No. No please not again. 

"Take your seat now."

Anxiety didn't look around. He wouldn't look at fake Logic. He wasn't real. 

He rushed forward and grabbed umbrella.

The smooth handle felt so comforting. 

"What are you doing?!? Class is in session take your seat!"

Anxiety tried to run out of the room.

He tripped (on nothing, of course) but then quickly staggered to his feet and kept going. 

"Stop! Come back here this instant!"

He fumbled with the door handle.

Oh God were those fake Logic footsteps behind him?

**"DETENTION!"**

Finally Anxiety worked the door and slammed it behind him. 

Clutching umbrella he ran down the hall. 

Looking back for an instant, the door shook violently as if someone was trying to barge through it, but remained closed. 


	61. Chapter 61

Anxiety felt he couldn't take much more of this. 

He felt sick. 

His nerves were on overdrive. 

Jumping at even the slightest sound. Expecting something horrible around every corner.

God if he didn't find Princey soon and get out of here he was going to have a complete breakdown. 

Umbrella didn't care in the slightest. 

Anxiety kept moving along, holding umbrella up like an impromptu sword. 

Ready to strike at any moment. 

Relief flooding his system every time they went around a corner or opened a new door and there was nothing there.

Anxiety had gone upstairs now.

He really wanted this to be over already.

Umbrella just wanted to twirl.

Just because.

As Anxiety stopped in a familiar hallway to take a moment to breath, he was surprised when he looked down at his hands.

He was absent mindedly swinging umbrella back and forth on his index finger.

_Twirl me. Twirl me. Big circle now! Twirl!_

Anxiety sighed and twirled it in a big circle on his finger.

_Wheeee._

He would be more concerned that somehow umbrella was telling him to twirl it.

If he wasn't so preoccupied at trying to figure out why this hallway looked so familiar.

Then it hit him. 

He stopped twirling umbrella and then fumbled to make sure he didn't drop it. _No, wanna keep twirling! Don't stop._  

This hallway was just like their real house in the real world. These doors lead to each of the sides own bedrooms. 

 


	62. Chapter 62

Anxiety has somehow managed to build up the nerve to check each of the bedrooms. 

This was quite a feat because he was convinced that the rooms would have another fake Patton or fake Logan. 

He was so disappointed when he went into Roman's room but the royal wasn't there. 

But - Roman's room the bed wasn't made. 

The pillows and blankets were missing.

Patton and Logan's rooms the beds were made and didn't look like anyone had slept in them. 

Was the missing bedding a clue?

Anxiety didn't expect to find anything in the copy of his room.

It's not like Roman would be in there. 

But he opened the door anyway. 

Maybe he could change out of these damp clothes?

It was a bit darker than his normal room and there were cobwebs everywhere - ew. 

Anxiety's heart twisted as he saw his note sitting untouched on the middle of his bed. 

The bathroom door was open. Something caught his eye. 

He walked over into the bathroom.

It was empty but what had caught his attention? Anxiety wondered. 

Then he noticed that the mirror - the mirror's reflection of the room was in color!

Everything in the bathroom was faded gray but if you looked in the mirror everything looked normal. 

Suddenly he "felt" umbrella. 

_No, no, no, no, no, no! Leave! NOW!_


	63. WARNING SUICIDE WARNING

Anxiety clutched umbrella tightly.

He quickly scanned the bathroom, looking the danger that umbrella was trying to warn him about.

But there was nothing in the his bathroom.

But Anxiety wasn't going stay.

If umbrella wanted to him to leave, then he was going to leave.

But.

As he turned to leave.

He saw it.

In the mirror.

Behind him.

Lying in the bathtub. 

 

Anxiety tried to scream. But no sound came out. 

 

It was him.

 

Collapsed in the bathtub.

Fully clothed. The sleeve of his jacket pushed all the way up.

His right arm dangling over the edge of the tub. 

Sliced open. 

Blood pouring down his arm. 

Down his fingers. 

Pooling on the floor.

A horrifying bright red pool. 

A silver razer dropped, discarded, floating in the middle it's job done.  

His body was motionless. 

His mouth hung open, his expression slack. 

His eyes - his eyes were wide but lifeless.

He was dead. 


	64. Chapter 64

Anxiety whirled around to face the bathtub. 

But it was still empty. 

Not a speck of blood was in the room. 

He was holding the sink behind him to support himself. 

He felt lightheaded, gasping for air. 

_Leave, leave, leave, just get out of here._

Umbrella was urging him, but Anxiety didn't think he could move. 

That image in the mirror. 

Is that what he had looked like?

Is that what the others had found that night?

No, not it wasn't. It couldn't be. He remembered he screamed.  

They came. They helped him. They saved him. 

It wasn't like the mirror. It didn't get that far.

He-he hadn't died. 

He wasn't dead. 

He was alive. 

Everything-everything was okay. He's fine, he's fine, he's fine. 

_Let's just get out of here!_

Anxiety collapsed onto his knees, he was shaking so bad. 

He hugged umbrella to his chest. 

Why did umbrella have to be bright red with a lady bug pattern? He didn't want to look at anything red right now. 

_How dare you?!? My red is fabulous! It's the best for twirling - you're just jealous!_

Anxiety gave a shaky laugh and pulled himself to his feet to get the hell out of this bathroom. 

That was a mistake. 

He should have crawled on his hands and knees out of the room. 

Because when he stood up, he couldn't help but look back in the mirror again. 

Oh why did he do that? The reflection in the mirror had gotten worse. 

 


	65. Chapter 65

Patton and Logan were in the mirror reflection now. 

Kneeling next to Anxiety in the bathtub. 

They were shouting at him. Shaking him. Trying to get a response. 

Trying to wrap up his arm. 

But the Anxiety in the bathtub was gone. 

They were crying. Tears running down their faces. 

Anxiety stared at the scene, feeling his own eyes tear up, even though this wasn't real. 

Suddenly Patton and Logan turned and looked into the mirror. 

Their eyes locked with Anxiety's. 

"This is your fault!" shouted Patton. 

"He's dead because of you!" screamed Logan. 

The two of them stood up and walked closer to the mirror. 

Anxiety flinched and instinctively looked behind him. The way the walked in the mirror, if they were real they would be right next to Anxiety. 

"Look what you've done you monster!" cried Logan. 

"You killed him. This-this is murder. Murderer!" yelled Patton. And then Patton banged his fist on the mirror. 

The mirror shook and the bang echoed around the bathroom. 

Logan pounded the glass too. "Murderer!"

And they kept hitting the mirror until it cracked and shattered, glass scattering around the room. 

Anxiety screamed and stepped backwards. 

Through the space on the wall where the mirror was, fake Patton and fake Logan (they were no longer in color anymore) were reaching out trying to grab him. 

"You'll pay for what you did to our Anxiety! We'll get you!"

Anxiety screamed again. Fake Patton and Fake Logan their faces contorted with rage were climbing through the hole in the wall. 

Anxiety turned and ran for his life. 

He could hear the others chasing him, smashing through any of the doors Anxiety slammed shut behind him. 

Anxiety ran and ran faster than he ever thought he could run. 


	66. Chapter 66

Anxiety sobbed. 

He was lying flat on his stomach. 

His eyes screwed up tight. 

He wasn't sure where he was. But he knew what he wanted.

He wanted to go home. He wanted to be safe. He wanted the real Patton and the real Logan. 

He wanted them to hug him and make him a nice cup of tea. 

He wanted to be warm and dry with a clean set of clothes because he suspected he would have to throw this pair of underwear out. 

Something gently nudged his side. 

Anxiety shrieked and scrambled backwards until he hit a tree trunk. 

It was a baby deer. Anxiety stared at it terrified. 

But it was too adorable for anyone to find scary for long. 

It also helped that the deer just looked at Anxiety with big beautiful eyes and didn't try and get closer to him. 

Anxiety sniffed loudly and looked around. 

He was back in the woods. 

That's right - he remembered now. He ran and ran all through the castle. 

He ran all the way out of the castle. 

He ran back into the woods until he couldn't run anymore. 

And he collapsed on the ground crying. 

His legs hurt from running. They were also bruised from all the times he kept tripping over and then scrabbling back up to keep running. 

The baby deer came slowly forward and gently rubbed its head against his leg. 

It had a sweet daisy chain crown on top of its head. 

Anxiety noticed there were more animals in the trees and bushes surrounding him. 

The smaller ones slowly came over to him. Little birds and bunnies, even a cute hedgehog. 

Several of them had daisy chain crowns or other kinds of flowers crowns attached to them. 

There were some larger ones that kept their distance from him which he was grateful for. 

He saw two larger deer's half hidden in the bushes watching him intently.

He suspected that they were the baby deer's parents and were anxious to make sure he didn't do anything to their offspring.

Slowly they came over to him - to Anxiety these deer seemed very large. 

The buck had attached to one of his antler's (swinging ever so slightly) umbrella. 

Anxiety wondered how on earth umbrella got up there. 

Anxiety hunched in on himself. These animals seemed friendly but he was still very scared. 

A few of the bunnies followed the baby deer's lead and hopped over to him gently pressing themselves next to him in an attempt to comfort him. 

Anxiety wasn't sure how long he sat there with the animals when he suddenly heard a noise - something was coming towards them. 

Anxiety carefully took ahold of umbrella from the father deer, all the animals turned to the direction of the noise. 

But the animals didn't seem afraid or make any attempt to flee. 

Anxiety heard "Is it much farther?"

He gasped - that voice?!?

Suddenly a unicorn burst into view, a filthy and ragged Roman riding majestically on top of it. 

"Where is this fair maiden in distress!"

All of the animals started chirping and chittering all at once gesturing towards Anxiety. 

Roman finally saw Anxiety crouched down at the base of the tree. He must have looked a mess from all the crying and running and then lying in the dirt. 

Roman's face fell. 

"No. No, no, no." Roman stepped backwards shaking his head. "You-they- How? I thought you all were contained in the castle!?! Go away! Stop tormenting me! Go back to that god forsaken castle you horrible creation!" and Roman turned to storm off. 

"Roman wait - it's me!" Anxiety tried to shout but his voice came out terrible croaked from all his crying. "I'm the real Anxiety."

Roman turned back to him, he looked like he was going to cry now. He reached down and grabbed a rock. 

"I said leave me alone!" and he threw the rock, which hit Anxiety smack in the middle of his forehead. 

"OW!" cried Anxiety, who reached for the nearest thing to throw at Roman which unfortunately was the hedgehog. Anxiety is not the most athletic so Roman was able to catch the poor hedgehog but still got several painful pricks from its spikes. 

This even more unfortunately caused Roman to retaliate - and Roman still had the power of imagination behind him. 

With a wave of his hand Roman magically had Anxiety bound and gagged. With a smug "hmph" he turned and left as Anxiety struggled with his bonds.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I-I don't even know what I was thinking when I wrote this. I'm sorry. You wanted hugs? Well I want hugs too, I think I'm just going to have to write them later.


	67. Chapter 67

Anxiety was sobbing again. 

And lying flat on his stomach again. 

He was still tied and gagged. But now he was in the middle of a small clearing. 

Roman was fuming. 

The woodland/other miscellaneous creatures weren't listening to him!

After he had bound that miserable creation he had journeyed home. 

Home now consisted a small run down shack in a small clearing next to a stream. 

You could still actually see the towers of the castle. (Anxiety had run around in circles in the woods) 

The shack was dilapidated, horrible and cold but it was better than the castle.

There was also a magnificent apple tree next to the stream.

And most importantly things from the castle had not followed him down to his shack. 

Until now. 

But why on Earth had the animals insisted on bringing that creature to his home?

As he was walking back he had turned and seen the animals carrying this creature by the ropes and following him. 

Roman had ordered the animals to leave him. 

They wouldn't. 

Roman then ordered them to take it back and leave it in the castle. 

They wouldn't do that either. 

It was immensely frustrating. 

They wanted to bring it inside - of all things. Roman refused, so the animals took it and laid it down in the middle of the clearing away from the apple tree. 

The other animals didn't like his friend that lived in the apple tree. 

Even though he promised that he wouldn't eat any of them. 

So now Roman sat in the middle of the floor in his house, making more daisy chains and listening to the animals pleas to talk to the creature. 

The animals said that they had seen it screaming and crying running _away_ from the castle. 

Some of the animals - one bunny was very insistent- that they had seen him come _through_ the woods and then go into the castle.

Roman bit his lip nervously. 

He was having doubts about the origin of this creature. 

There was no reason for the animals to lie about what they saw. And the creature hadn't found Roman, the animals brought him to it. 

And-and it had color. Not much - it wore mostly black but...but Anxiety wore mostly black. 

Could-could this really be Anxiety and not a fake?

Roman stood up and walked out of the shack over to the bound captive. 

It was still crying and the majority of the animals were surrounding it trying to comfort it. 

Roman could speak "animal" so he could understand what they were saying "There, there." "It's okay dear." "He won't hurt you."

Roman shooed the animals away and with a snap of his fingers released the magic binds and gag. 

"Ahem." Roman cleared his throat to sound important. "The animals say that you are not from the castle. I have decided to be gracious and are offering you the chance to prove yourself.  But be warned try any funny business and I will slay you."

Anxiety cautiously got to his feet, clutching umbrella to his chest. He looked wearily at Roman. 

Roman looked terrible, his clothes were tattered, he looked filthy as if he hadn't bathed properly in days and he even looked thinner like he hadn't been eating properly. 

Roman looked suspiciously at umbrella. He didn't remember Anxiety having a lady bug umbrella before. And Anxiety looked terrible from all that crying and lying in the dirt. 

An awkward silenced stretched for several minutes. 

Until suddenly - "YOU JERKFACE IDIOT!" screamed Anxiety. 

And he smashed Roman in the side of the head with umbrella. 


	68. Chapter 68

As much as Roman would deny ever running away in the face of an enemy, Anxiety chased him around the clearing, his crumbling shack and the apple tree for at least 10mintues. 

It wasn't Roman fault. 

He didn't have a weapon on hand to defend against Anxiety's umbrella. 

And Anxiety was hitting him quite hard, so of course it made sense to avoid as many blows as possible. 

Not that he avoided all that many to be honest. 

Anxiety was quite determined. 

Or to put it another way quite pissed off. 

And he kept screaming at Roman. 

Roman was having trouble making sense of what he was saying. 

What Anxiety wanted get across to the Prince was that everyone was worried about Roman and he had come into Imagination to find him but had come across that awful castle and gone inside and then all these awful things had happened to him and then he ran away into the woods and finally found Roman and now he needed Roman to take them both home. And yes he was the real Anxiety not some fake. 

But he couldn't keep this explanation at a suitable volume and kept punctuating it every few words or so with an insult because he was very upset that Roman couldn't tell he was the real Anxiety and had tied him up. And gagged him. And thrown a rock at him. And had made him come into this godawful place in the first place. And made that stupid castle. And - and just everything really - Anxiety was pretty sure everything wrong with the world right now was somehow Roman's fault.

Anxiety felt the best way to express all of this was to keep hitting Roman with umbrella.

But after this had been going on for sometime Roman was getting quite upset and very sore from umbrella.

This must be a fake Anxiety!

In desperation he shouted: "Stop you fiend! Why must you torment me? I will magic you back into the castle from whence you came!"

That made Anxiety stop, fear flooded his veins. 

Princey couldn't really transport him back into the castle could he?

Anxiety burst into tears and ran inside the shack to hide. 

Roman stood in the middle of the clearing panting and aching all over. 

Slowly he walked over to the shack to find Anxiety curled up in his gray blankets shaking. 

"No-please-I can't- p-p-Patton and l-l-Logan - the bathroom, no they-"

Roman went cold. 

He knew exactly what Anxiety was talking about. 

After all that bathroom was the reason he fled the castle. 

He couldn't go back - not knowing that was in there. 

Roman looked at Anxiety huddled in the blankets. 

"You really came in here looking for me?"

"I didn't know what else to do."

"I'm -I'm sorry I never dreamed you would come in here. I though you were one of those fakes from the castle, they are so realistic."

"I know. Roman, lets go home."

"Of course I can send you back right away."

"No - both of us Roman."

"Anxiety ...I-I can't."

Tears started to fall down Roman's cheeks. 


	69. Chapter 69

As Roman started crying it started to rain. 

Anxiety got up and awkwardly started patting his shoulder.

Romans buried his face in his hands and cried harder. 

The rain came down harder now. 

Anxiety wondered if it was raining _because_ Roman was crying?

Some of the smaller animals darted inside the shack, as the rest retreated into the forest for shelter. 

A cold wind blew through the door, Anxiety quickly shut it so they could try and keep warm. 

He guided Roman to his makeshift bed and wrapped the gray scratchy blankets around him. 

Anxiety wrapped his arm around Roman to try and comfort him and keep him warm.

The two sides were shivering. 

The wind kept blowing through the gaps in the walls of the shack. 

And there were holes in the ceiling that rain was dripping through. 

Anxiety pressed closer to Roman making gentle shushing noises. 

Anxiety picked up umbrella and wondered if he could use it to stop some of the leaks in the roof. 

Anxiety felt umbrella "felt" sad or was that him?

_Oh dear, he's so sad because I'm prettier than him._

Anxiety gave umbrella an incredulous look. 

_And because I'm a better twirler._

Anxiety sighed. He went back to soothing noises to stop Roman crying. 


	70. Chapter 70

Anxiety looked down at his ninth attempt to make a daisy chain crown. 

It was completely uneven but at least it hadn't fallen apart yet. 

He looked over at Roman's. 

It was so pretty. 

After ages Roman's tears had finally subdued. 

Anxiety felt he hadn't been much help. 

He had tried to be calming and soothing. 

Just like the others had been when he had been upset. 

But he felt Roman had just stopped crying out of exhaustion rather than anything Anxiety did. 

Anxiety felt a pang of longing in his stomach, when he thought of the others. 

He wished Logan and Patton were here. 

They would know how to make everything better.

Patton would know what Roman was feeling and could have feelings talk and give better hugs. 

And Logan would have practical solutions and a cup of tea and tissues in his pockets. 

Anxiety wanted Roman to take them home to Logan and Patton. 

But Roman kept avoiding the subject if Anxiety tried to talk about the real world. 

And Anxiety didn't want Roman to start crying again. 

It was so wet inside the shack now, he didn't want it to get worse. 

The animals had pushed a large bowel filled with wildflowers in front of them after Roman had stopped crying. 

Roman immediately started making the chains. 

Anxiety thought this was something he had to keep himself busy, doing something with his hands, something to concentrate on. 

Soon Roman had several chains he gave to the otter, beaver, rabbits, bilby and baby dear that had come into his house. 

The animals were cuddled up next to him, chattering away - Roman must have understood them because he was talking to them quietly. 

"Thank you." "You're welcome." "Okay a white one next."

Anxiety was glad at least the animals were nice here, even if the people in the castle weren't. 


	71. Chapter 71

Anxiety bit his nails nervously. 

Roman was gone. 

After awhile of making daisy chains Roman's stomach let out a very loud growl. 

Anxiety had asked what Roman had for dinner. 

Roman pulled out a small sack kept at the side of his bed. 

It had some berries, nuts and mushrooms in it. 

Not much at all. 

Anxiety hoped Roman knew which mushrooms were safe to eat. 

"My forest friends help me forage for food, but with the weather there hasn't been much." explained Roman.

Roman added in a stage whisper "And I haven't been eating meat because ...well.. I don't want to hunt my friends here you see." 

Anxiety nodded. 

He understood not wanting to hunt any of the friendly animals here but...

But-why was there so little food? Why hadn't Roman imagined more? Or controlled the weather if it was affecting what was growing?

He had made igloos out of ice cream before, why couldn't he image more food for himself now. 

Anxiety thought about all these questions but the one he asked was -"What about the apple tree by the stream?"

"Oh yes I eat those too … but I can't just pick those, um you see they belong to someone else- but he shares with me. We trade things."

Anxiety nodded again. 

"But those apples are really good! I'll see if I can get some for us. Um you better wait here until I tell my friend about you."

With that Roman jumped up and opened the door to the shack and walked out towards the tree. 

Anxiety stood up and waited by the door. 

The animals didn't follow Roman they waited with Anxiety, they had gone very quite. 

Roman was standing under the tree looking up into it's branches and gesturing and pointing back towards Anxiety. 

Anxiety couldn't see anyone, he wondered what animal lived in an apple tree?

Roman came back, he looked a little nervous. 

"Okay he says you can have an apple too, I just have to trade two things for two apples and that's fair. Um so I'll go get the stuff and be back in a jiffy and then we can have an apple."

Roman stuck his fingers in his mouth and gave a shrill whistle. 

This time a zebra came out of the forest and Roman jumped on its back. 

"Can-can I help you get the things to trade for the apples?" asked Anxiety. 

"Oh...um no. You-you better stay here, it-I um won't take long." stuttered Roman. 

Anxiety didn't like it, he had just found Roman and now he was leaving him again. 

"You-you promise you'll come back?" asked Anxiety desperately. 

"Yes, I-I always get out of there as fast as I can." 


	72. Chapter 72

When Roman finally rode back into the clearing Anxiety was so relieved. 

He rushed out of the shack to meet Roman. 

Roman didn't look so good. 

He looked pale and very shaken. 

"Roman are you okay?" asked Anxiety. 

Roman plastered an obvious fake smile across his face. 

"Of course! Never better. I have been successful in my quest - now we can have an apple."

Roman pulled out of his coat - a old paintbrush and a whiteboard marker. 

There colors were faded. 

Roman walked over to the apple tree as Anxiety stood frozen on the spot. 

Those-those things had come from the castle. 

Roman was going back into the castle to get things to trade for apples. 

Anxiety shivered as he remembered the fake Patton and Logan smashing through the bathroom glass. 

How-how could Roman keep going back in there?


	73. Chapter 73

At least Anxiety still had umbrella, which he held onto tightly nervously twisting it in his hands. 

Because he didn't like this. 

He had a bad feeling. 

Roman had flounced over to the apple tree. 

And was talking to something hiding in the high branches again. 

Anxiety slowly started to walk over. 

But none of the other animals would follow. 

Roman passed up the paintbrush and marker. 

And then picked two large beautiful apples from the tree. 

"Here Anxiety." said Roman holding one out to him. "Come and meet my friend."

Anxiety walked over and stood next to Roman. 

He gripped umbrella tighter. _I don't like this._ _Lets go away._

Anxiety wasn't sure if that was his thoughts or umbrella but he now stood frozen on the spot as he saw Roman's friend. 

Wrapped up in the branches of the tree. 

His yellow slitted eyes gleaming down at him. 

This was the largest snake Anxiety had ever seen. 

The dark yellow colour of its scales was beautiful but at the same time reminded him of stomach bile. 

His body was at least as thick as Roman's bicep. 

Gracefully he slid down through the branches and extended half of his body so he was draped across Roman's shoulders like a scarf. 

Anxiety shivered; he could coil himself around Roman and suffocate him in seconds if he wanted to. 

_Don't like him. Bad._

Roman must have seen Anxiety shaking. 

"Oh don't worry Anxiety, it's okay, this is another forest friend of mine." 

The snake lifted its head up and flicked its tongue out at him.

Then it hissed.

 ** _Greetings_**  

Anxiety flinched; he'd heard that.

"He just said hello." said Roman gently patting the snake on the head. 

"Oh." Anxiety pretended he hadn't heard the snake. "Oh um hi." 

_Let me hit him in the face._


	74. Chapter 74

_Let_ 's  _hit him on the head. Hard. Don't like him._

Anxiety tightened his grip on umbrella. 

Oh god. If the snake heard umbrella it would kill them. 

_Stupid scaly dummy. Hit him. Hit him. Hit him now!_

Please, please shut up, thought Anxiety desperately.

He subtly tried to hide umbrella behind his leg.

_I wanna hit him now!_

Anxiety swallowed nervously.

But neither Roman or the yellow snake gave any indication that they could "hear" umbrella.

Anxiety remembered the bathroom in the castle.

If umbrella was telling him that this snake was bad news then he was definitely bad news.

He had to get Roman away from him somehow.

"And this is my friend Anxiety, he's not from imagination and-" Roman babbling away to the snake.

Anxiety wasn't really listening until-

_**He's not your friend. Remember all the horrible things you said to him.** _

Roman abruptly stopped talking. Anxiety looked at the two of them. 

_**Remember what he did to himself because of you.** _

_**But of course; you just dismiss all that like it never happened and now you just decide that he's your friend.** _

_**Don't be stupid, he could never be friends with you.** _

God Anxiety hoped he kept his facial features neutral. 

He didn't want the snake to know he could understand him. 

_**He could never forgive you.** _ _**No one could. That's why you have to stay here.** _

Anxiety had to get Roman away from here.

**_You haven't done anything wrong here. All the animals like you. I like you. It's safe here for you Roman._ **

 


	75. Chapter 75

"What-what did your friend say?" asked Anxiety.

It was a miracle that he managed to keep his voice steady. 

Roman looked ashamed. 

"He-he um asked us if we had seen his bowler hat. It fell off again. L-Lets look for it, shall we." 

Anxiety went along with this lie. 

Now he just needed to get Roman away to safety. 

_**He shouldn't be here Roman. Look at how awful he looks. Look at what your imagination has done.** _

Anxiety shivered. Because he was cold and because he hated taking his eyes of the snake. 

He scanned the ground for the hat. 

_**You should send him back.** _

_**The others can take care of him, fix what your imagination has done.** _

Anxiety felt his stomach clench again as he thought of the others and of home. 

The aches and pains he got from running around the forest were so sore. 

He rubbed the spot on his forehead where Roman hit him with a rock. 

_**Just like they helped him after you made him hurt himself.** _

**"** FOUND IT!" shouted Anxiety too loudly. God he wanted that snake to shut up. 

He passed the black bowler hat to Roman who carefully placed it on the snakes head. 

"There you are." said Roman with false cheer. 

The snake hissed again. 

**_Tell him I am immensely grateful Roman, although even with this stylish hat I could never hold a candle to how dashing you look._ **

**_Although I must say I  simply adore Anxiety's eyeshadow._ **


	76. Chapter 76

"My friend says thanks for finding his hat," said Roman

_**No, that's not what I said. I said immensely grateful.** _

_**You're such an air head sometimes.** _

_**No wonder Logan gets so frustrated that you can't stay on task and always suggest such impractical things**_. 

Roman shoulders sagged slightly at this. 

But Anxiety still had to pretend that he couldn't hear the snake. 

He shivered again but this time didn't try to hide it. 

He had an idea. 

"Brrr. It's cold. Roman can we go back inside to eat our apples?" said Anxiety.

He rubbed his arms to try and emphasise this. 

God he hoped the snake only stayed in the tree and didn't go into the house.

"Oh. Yes we can do that -um I mean you don't mind? Anxiety's clothes are a bit wet so he should go inside. " said Roman. 

Looking at the snake for permission. 

The snake fixed his eyes on Anxiety. 

Then slowly he nodded and slithered back up into the higher branches. 

_**Make sure you come and see me later Roman.**_  

"Of course." Roman said hurriedly. 

**_And remember what I said: Send. Him. Back._ **

"Um...yeah, yeah of course." 

Roman put his hand on Anxiety's shoulder and lead him back to the shack. 

"Um thank you for the apple." Anxiety called over his shoulder. 

_You should throw it back at him and hit him in the head._  

Oh for god's sake, shut up Umbrella thought Anxiety. 

 

 


	77. Chapter 77

Anxiety sat down on the cold hard floor of the shack. 

Pulling his knees up close to him.

He balled himself up as small as he could. 

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. 

He had to get out of here. 

He had to get Roman out of here. 

That snake was evil. 

This was like some make believe fairy tale. 

And that snake was the villain. 

The cliché, this person is so obviously the villain but the main character doesn't see it.

Until the hero rushes in and saves the main character. Just before the villain tries to kill everybody. 

But Anxiety wasn't a hero. 

What kind of Disney bull crap has he got himself mixed up in?

Roman is supposed to be the hero. Why hadn't he slayed that snake?

_What about me?!? I am clearly the hero of this story, I am the most talented, handsome, bravest, magical -_

It would be better if you were a sword, thought Anxiety. 

_Pfft swords can't twirl! And I wanted to hit him on the head!_

I would have to be the one doing the hitting! I can't fight that snake. We need to find a way to get home.

_What are you talking about? Roman can get us home. He just has to open the door from imagination to his bedroom._

_The snake has already told him to do it to send you home._  

But what about Roman? I can't leave him here. How do I convince him to come home? thought Anxiety desperately.  

_Convince him? You don't even have to ask him. Get him to open the door._

_And then just shove him through it._  

Oh. That's a good idea. thought Anxiety. 


	78. Chapter 78

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick update for now but I will try and add some more chapters soon.

Anxiety chewed his nails nervously. 

He was thinking about how he was going to ask Roman to get him (them) home. 

Should he just blurt it out? 

"Hey open the door back to your bedroom, I wanna leave" - That would be very abrupt.

He knew the snake said to send him home but he still had to pretend that he didn't hear any of that. 

And he had to make sure that he got Roman to do it in a way that he could put umbrella's plan into action. 

Anxiety was overthinking things again. 

But he couldn't help it. 

He kept thinking about how Roman didn't want to leave this place. 

Even though - apart from the woodland creatures - everything was awful here. 

And he thought about how that snake wanted him gone. 

Why? 

Did the snake know that Anxiety wanted to bring Roman home?

And why did Roman seem hesitant when the snake told him to get rid of Anxiety?

In fact why hadn't Roman suggested Anxiety go back on his own?

Anxiety had tried to convince Roman to come back but that made him cry.

But Roman hadn't tried to convince Anxiety to go anywhere. 

Did-did Roman want Anxiety to stay with him?

Roman wouldn't want that would he?

Anxiety had so many things to overthink about.

He absent mindedly went to take a bite of that big shiny red apple. 

_Don't do that._

Huh why? thought Anxiety at umbrella - he's still not used to this kind of communication. 

_It's a bad thing._

What does that mean?

_I don't know but you are going to do what Roman just did. And Roman doesn't look good now._

Anxiety realised that "eating" might be a difficult concept for umbrella to understand. 

He quickly looked at Roman. 

And dropped the apple in his hand. 


	79. Chapter 79

Anxiety stared at Roman in horror. 

What the hell?!?

Roman looked at him and raised an eyebrow. 

"Are you alright Anxiety?" as he took another bite.

Anxiety should be asking him that!

Roman had turned pale. 

Dark bags had formed under his eyes. 

His lips!

They were the most shocking. 

They were now dry and cracked. 

Blood shone brightly from where his skin was breaking on his lips. 

A terrifying contrast against his now pale skin. 

"R-roman st-stop."

Anxiety scrambled to his feet and tried to grab the apple away. 

"Hey c'mon you have your own."

"It's making you sick!"

As if on cue to prove this Roman's stomach made a loud gurgle. 

Roman groaned and hunched over holding his stomach. 

Then he started coughing. 

Deep thick chesty coughs. 

"Roman!" Anxiety had to do something. 

Roman slowly hobbled over to the uncomfortable bed and laid down. 

Holding his tummy. 

"Oh - I did it again."

"What?"

"I was greedy and picked a big one. Just like a stupid kid that eats too much candy at once."

Roman continued "My friend says that his delicious apples can be too much of a good thing, that's why he doesn't give them all out." 

Roman licked his cracked lips. 

Anxiety was flabbergasted - was Roman for real?

"Roman does this happen every time you eat an apple?!? How could you do this to yourself? These are bad-"

"No my friend says that these are the best apples - look at how pretty they are and-"

"Roman he's lying- they are pois-" 

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. 

Oh God the snake was back and now going to kill them thought Anxiety. 

 


	80. Chapter 80

Miraculously it wasn't the snake.

It was some of the nice woodland creatures from before.

Anxiety wished he could understand animal so he could put one outside as a lookout.

The animals didn't seem surprised at the state Roman was in.

Concerned yes, surprised no.

That just further confirmed Anxiety's belief that the apples always did this to Roman.

How could Roman let that snake convince him that the apples were good?

Was he delusional? 

Roman laid on the bed staring blankly at the wall now. 

His eyes slightly unfocused. 

The animals had gathered next to him. 

Some had climbed onto the bed and snuggled up next to him.

Giving him warmth from their body heat. 

Anxiety was staring at the scene trying to think of something to do.

When something strange happened. 

Just as Roman groaned again holding his tummy. 

The daisy chains on the woodland creatures fell apart. 

When the flowers hit the floor they withered and died. 

But not all of the daisy chains were destroyed. 

Only about half of them. 

The ones Roman had created. 

The ones Anxiety had made -even thought they were wonky and uneven - didn't suddenly come apart. 

Anxiety started shivering with understanding. 

The apples didn't just make Roman sick. 

They affected his powers, affected his creations. 

The snake was responsible for weakening Roman's ability to control Imagination.  


	81. Chapter 81

Anxiety was afraid. 

So very, very afraid. 

Imagination was Roman's domain. 

Roman was meant to be in charge here. 

Roman was meant to rule over the fantasy land. 

But Anxiety realised that right now - that wasn't the case. 

The magnitude of the situation was crashing into him like a physical force. 

He remembered the terrifying fake Patton and Logan in the castle. 

Roman wasn't in control of his creations. 

He couldn't get them to do what he wanted.

Anxiety looked around the dilapidated shack.

After Roman fled the castle, this was all he could manage for shelter. 

He couldn't even make himself a blanket or food. 

Roman wasn't able to create anything properly anymore. 

He couldn't make something new that he wanted. 

Anxiety was afraid. 

He was in a world where anything could happen. 

Where anything could happen. 

Where bad things could happen. 

And Roman lying sick on the bed. 

Anxiety was afraid. 

Roman had repeatedly said that the apples belonged to the snake. They were his. 

The snake had created that tree and it's bad apples.

That snake had control in imagination. 

What else could that snake do?

Anxiety roughly shook Roman by the shoulders. 

"Roman? Roman! Can you hear me? I want to go home. I want to go home right now!"


	82. Chapter 82

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has taken so long to update, I had some sad family issues recently and didn't have it in me to give this the attention it needs to make it good but hopefully I can get out some more chapters for you.

Anxiety gulped nervously, looking over at the apple tree.

It was dark now.

And that made it hard to see.

He hoped that the snake stayed in the tree.

He really, really hoped the snake stayed in the tree.

Roman had needed to rest a bit more after eating the poisonous apple.

Before he had the strength to make the door to go home.

But Anxiety wished he had done it inside the shack.

Why did they have to do this outside?

Just stay calm, he thought, it will be over soon, you can put Umbrella's plan to action and it will be all over.

Roman struggled a bit.

It took in several attempts to make the door.

But finally he managed it.

Roman pushed the door open and then took some steps back to let Anxiety see. 

It was such a beautiful sight to see Roman's bedroom through that door.  

But now Roman wasn't standing in front of the door!

Dammit - he needed to be in front for Anxiety to push him!

Roman looked sad. 

He gestured for Anxiety to go through the door. 

Anxiety needed Roman to go in front so they could both get home. 

He had an idea.

Anxiety leaned forward making it look like he was examining the room inside the door. 

"Um...um...can-can you check that it's safe?"

"What?"

"You know- just-just can you check that it's really home? Please?"

Roman walked in front of the doorway and Anxiety got ready to shove him through it.

Suddenly there was screaming. 

Loud, terrified screaming. 

It was coming from inside the door. 


	83. Chapter 83

Roman quickly walked backwards away from the door. 

Away from the screaming coming through it. 

He bumped into Anxiety who was standing behind him. 

They toppled over onto the grass. 

The screaming from inside the door continued. 

The person sounded so scared. 

What happened? Had Roman made a mistake with the door?

That-that couldn't be home could it?

Anxiety looked at Roman for answers but Roman looked just as frightened as he was. 

They couldn't see anyone. 

All they could see through the door was Roman's bed. 

The screaming was coming from another part of the room. 

Off to the side, out of the line of sight from Anxiety and Roman's view from inside Imagination.

It was like, someone was off in a corner. 

Or standing in a room adjoining Roman's.

Like a bathroom.  

 


	84. Chapter 84

**_Earlier; back in the Real World._ **

Patton knocks on Logan's bedroom door before sticking his head inside. 

"Hey fellas, dinners almost ready, so wash up and come down okay?"

Patton tries to say this cheerfully but his hearts not in it. 

The sides still haven't resolved anything with Roman because he hasn't come back yet. 

And he's really worried and feels really guilty about how Roman has run away. 

Patton hopes that Roman will come back soon, so he can tell him he's sorry that he got so angry about the note. 

Logan looks up from his book that he was reading when Patton enters his room. 

He really wasn't reading it. He has been staring blankly at it for the past hour. 

He's been trying to think of a way to contact Roman in Imagination to tell him to come back. 

But he hasn't had any ideas. 

He sighs as he stands up. 

"Coming. What have you and Anxiety made for dinner tonight?" asks Logan trying to make small talk to take his mind off Roman. 

Patton blinks and looks around the room for Anxiety. 

"I cooked by myself. Anxiety has been with you."

Logan stares at him. For some reason he feels butterflies in his tummy. 

"Anxiety has been with you the whole day." says Patton but his heartbeat starts to race. 

"That is incorrect, Anxiety has spent the entire day with you."

"..."

"..."

**"...!"**

**"...!"**

_Panic ensues_


	85. Chapter 85

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most people correctly guessed from the last chapter what the screaming was about.

Anxiety covered his mouth with his hands.

He was scared to make a noise. 

This made no sense because the screaming was so loud.

But part of him wanted to cry out too. 

Anxiety was afraid but he didn't know what he was meant to be afraid of.

Suddenly from within Roman's room their was a loud bang. 

It sounded like a door slamming against a wall. 

"PATTON! PATTON WHAT IS IT!?!"

The screaming stopped. 

"BLOOD. HE-HE'S HURT HIMSELF AGAIN!" wailed Patton. 

"WHERE IS HE?" shouted Logan. 

"I- _I DON'T KNOW_ " screamed Patton. "HE'S GONE."

"ANXIETY? ANXIETY?" shouted Logan "ANXIETY WHERE ARE YOU?"

Anxiety was frozen inside Imagination.

He heard the others feet pounding and more doors being thrown open as the others looked for him.

But he couldn't cry out to them, he was still too scared from all the screaming. 

He looked at Roman. 

Roman was staring at him. 

He tentatively reached out a hand touched Anxiety's arm. 

The one with Roman's scarf wrapped around it. 

Anxiety pulled his arm away. 

"Roman I-I can explain-"

Roman's face crumpled like that time when they were children and they lost Ms Fluffybottom. 

He buried his face in his hands. 

"No...no. Why? I left so you should be okay-why? I wasn't there anymore."

Roman started moving backwards away from Anxiety. 

"Roman- it's not what you think, it's not that bad okay -I just" Anxiety babbled as Roman moved further away his eyes welling with tears. 

"No-no it's not okay - I-I'm the one that's bad. I hurt you. It's my fault."

Anxiety didn't know what to say to stop Roman from moving away from him then suddenly; 

"ANXIETY!" 

Anxiety jumped as he looked back to the door to the real world. 

Logic was standing in front of Roman's bed looking at him.

"Anxiety come back in here now!" demanded Logan. 

He rushed forward and grabbed onto the doorframe and leaned in as far as he could. 

"PATTON I'VE FOUND HIM!" he shouted over his shoulder. 

He extended his arm out for Anxiety to grab onto. 

"Take my hand."

Anxiety blinked - it was the real Logan and behind him the real world. 


	86. Chapter 86

"Anxiety, c'mon take my hand - you can make it. You have to get out of there."

Anxiety saw that Logan was straining on tip toe to reach as far as possible into Imagination without leaving Roman's room. 

Because the sides weren't meant to go in there without Roman. 

Anxiety realised that Logan was so focused on him that he hadn't noticed Roman was right next-

What?

Roman was right next to him a second ago. 

No.

But Roman had stopped crawling backwards away from Anxiety. 

And gotten to his feet and was moving away from him. 

In the direction of the apple tree. 

No, no, no.

Anxiety staggered to his feet just as Roman ran and hid behind the tree. 

No, no, no, no, no. 

The snake! The snake was there. 

He had to get Roman away from the snake!

Anxiety needed to go after Roman. 

But that snake was dangerous. 

Anxiety didn't have time to work up his courage. 

Because he was crash tackled into the ground.

His head spun despite it being firmly faceplanted into wet grass.

"MY PRECIOUS SMOL BABY!"

"PATTON YOU GET OUT OF THERE AS WELL!"  

 


	87. Chapter 87

Logic gave up. 

Patton was simply too excited to see Anxiety. 

That he just wasn't listening to Logan telling him to come back. 

And Anxiety was tangled up in Patton's hug.

That he couldn't get up and come through the door even if he wanted to.

Logic took a deep breath. 

And then walked through the door into Imagination. 

He felt so uneasy being here. 

Logic had no place in Imagination or Day Dream Mode or anything like that. 

And he also didn't like it because it was raining heavily. 

"Alright enough. Patton get off him, we must go back to the Real World and-"

"Oh my little raisin cookie! I was so worried."

"It's okay Patton - I'm okay I just-

"You need to come back with us now for medical treatment! You've hurt yourself again haven't you?"

"No-I mean yes - but I - we - need to get Roman -and"

"Let's just focus on you for the moment, we can come back for Roman-"

"NO!"

"But-"

"We are getting Roman!"

"How are we going to find him, this place is huge - is that a castle in those woods?"

"He's-He's behind that apple tree!"

"Oh I'll get him then."

"Those apples look yummy!"

"NO!"

"What? Why?"

"The snake!"

"What snake?"

"There's snakes here?!? OMG are their spiders too?"

Just then it started raining even harder on the three sides. 


	88. Chapter 88

_Um, so like, I am fabulous and versatile - but you do know what I'm mostly used for right?_

Anxiety jumped as umbrella "spoke" to him

Logan and Patton didn't seem to have heard it. 

It took Anxiety a moment to realise what umbrella meant. 

Then he lifted it above his head and opened it. 

Logan and Patton huddled closer to Anxiety to try and keep dry. 

Anxiety then hurriedly explained to them what was going on.

But he kept having to stop his story every so often. 

Because he saw Roman poking his head around the tree to look at them. 

Anxiety desperately called out for him to come to them.

"ROMAN!"

Patton and Logan called out too.

But Roman always quickly hid back behind the tree. 

And Anxiety rushed back into telling the others the story. 

About how Roman's powers were failing.

About how the apples were poisoned.

About how Roman thought the snake was his friend.

But how Anxiety could hear the snake and knew it really wasn't a friend at all.

But Roman was blaming himself for everything and believed the horrible snake.

"Oh no our precious Prince." cried Patton.

"This creature sounds truly horrid and manipulative - playing on Roman's insecurities to get what it wants without Roman realising that he is essentially in an emotionally abusive relationship!" hissed Logan. 

"We have to save him, please." begged Anxiety. 

"We will." said the others firmly. 

_Why didn't you tell them about me? They don't even know how amazing I can twirl. Have you forgotten who the main character is in this story?_

This isn't a story, thought Anxiety firmly, it's a rescue mission. 

 


	89. Chapter 89

They had decided to split up. 

Anxiety didn't like it. 

But it was Logan's idea and it did make sense. 

Patton was going to stay at the door that lead back to the real world. 

And make sure that it stayed open!

They weren't sure how powerful this snake was. 

But if that door shut when they all tried to make their getaway then they would be in big trouble. 

Anxiety wished he was the one who stayed behind to keep the door open. 

He didn't want to face that snake. 

But Patton nearly had an accident that time there was a huntsman in the shower. 

He wouldn't be able to handle a snake this size. 

The rest of the plan was similar to Umbrella's before. 

Get to Roman. Grab Roman. Get Roman through door by any means possible. 

Even if they had to pull him by the hair. 

Anxiety and Logan walked around the apple tree in a big circle. 

To get to the other side where Roman was. 

Again Logan's idea. Go around - keep as far away from the tree and the branches as possible.

So the snake couldn't get the drop on them. 

But so they could still move into a position that they were closer to Roman. 

And if Roman ran away in the other direction. 

He would be running closer to Patton who could make a grab for him. 

Anxiety gulped - yeah all so simple. 

But at some point that snake is going to make a move against them!


	90. Chapter 90

Clutching umbrella Anxiety and Logan finally had circled around the tree.

So that they could see Roman.

Anxiety was worried that Roman would make a break for it and run off into the woods.

But Roman just leaned heavily against the tree. 

Huddling in on himself.

Avoiding all eye contact with them. 

Logan gave a sharp intake of breath. 

Anxiety immediately tensed. 

And scanned the branches of the tree.

Had Logan seen the snake?

Logan leaned in close to Anxiety's ear,

"He looks so dishevelled," he said quietly. 

Logan was right. 

Anxiety was just sort of used to it by now, but this was Logan's first time seeing Roman. 

It was probably only time Logan had ever seen Roman dressed in rags.

Thin, dirty and his hair a tattered mess. 

Roman looked like a reverse Cinderella.

 

 


	91. Chapter 91

Roman spared a quick glance up at them.

He looked like he was going to cry.

Before quickly averting his gaze back to the wet ground.

He shivered as the wind picked up.

And cold raindrops filtered through the apple tree’s leaves.

They fell on him, cold as ice.

Anxiety and Logan made small, cautious steps towards him.

Where was Patton? Roman wondered.

More icy rain drops fell on him as there was sudden movement above him.

He flinched from the water but gave a small smile upwards.

There in the branches above him was the snake. His friend.

Anxiety and Logan abruptly stopped walking.

They were looking up at snake. They looked afraid.

Anxiety said something quietly to Logan.

Logan nodded rapidly and whispered something back.

The rain was too noisy for Roman to hear their whispers.

But then they both visibly took a deep breath and started walking forward again.

Logan said this time in a normal voice so Roman could hear him,

“Why is it wearing a bowler hat?”


	92. Chapter 92

Anxiety and Logan stood in front of Roman.

Close but just outside of the tree’s branches.

They kept looking fearfully at the snake.

Roman bit his lip nervously.

He wanted to say it was okay, that snake was a friend but;

His friend hadn’t said anything.

The snake had just been watching Logan and Anxiety get closer.

Roman thought he had better say something.

In case his friend thought the others were going to steal his apples.

“Um, it’s okay friend, L-Logan and Anxiety are just-”

_**“I know what they want, Roman.”** _

“Oh…” Roman trailed off.

Logan cleared his throat.

“Roman you have to come home with us.”

Anxiety was glad Logan was taking charge.

Anxiety was sure he couldn’t keep his voice that steady.

He was trembling with nerves.

_**“You can’t.”** _

“I-I can’t.” muttered Roman.


	93. Warning: Trigger Warning.

Anxiety felt Logan put his hand in the middle of his shoulder blades.

Then he felt Logan move his hand again and pressed it firmly into his back.

Anxiety was confused.

Logan had his fingers crossed.

“Roman, you have to come back with us.”

“You have spent too long in Imagination, you need come and have some real food.”

“and then you can come back here.”

Ah, realised Anxiety – Logan had crossed his fingers on his back to signal that he was going to lie.

And to make sure Anxiety didn’t contradict him.

Of course, they were not going to let Roman come back here.

But if Roman and the snake thought that Roman would, then maybe Roman would leave without a fuss.

_**“No.”** _

Aw dammit.

_**“You cannot go back with them. You must stay here Roman.”** _

“I-I-I,” stuttered Roman.

_**“Remember: It’s for their own good.”** _

_**“You hurt Anxiety. Badly. You will hurt him again with your wonderful creative insults. And the others will hate you forever.”** _

_**“And then Roman, you will start hurting others; Logan, Thomas. Dear sweet Patton.”** _

_**“Think about that Roman, dear sweet Patton… CUTTING CHUNKS OF FLESH OUT OF HIS ARMS BECAUSE OF YOU.”** _

“NO.” shouted Anxiety “THAT WON’T HAPPEN ROMAN.”

Roman stared at him with terrified eyes.

Logan looked at him. Worse the snake looked directly at him too.

“Roman this isn’t your fault-”

_**“YES IT IS!”** _

“NO, Roman please come with us. We miss you, we lo- you’re our family. You won’t hurt me or Logan or Thomas or Pat-

On the other side of the apple tree Patton screamed.


	94. Chapter 94

All the sides cried out in alarm.

“Patton!?!”

Just as a violent bolt of lightning crashed overhead.

Followed a deafening roar of thunder.

So loud that Anxiety grabbed onto Logan out of fear.

Everyone quickly moved so they could see around the tree.

To find Patton.

To see why he screamed.

But Patton was already quickly running towards them.

He too flung himself at Logan.

Terror in his eyes.

“Help. Help me!”

There were deep scratches on his cheek.

“What is it?”

“You.”

“Sorry, could you repeat that?”

“ _You_!” Patton pointed back towards the portal door.

Anxiety stared as an icy terror filled his veins.

Fake Logic was glaring at them.

Walking steadily towards them, his hands balled into fits.

“Hmm this is certainly an unusual sight?” commented Logan, looking at himself.

For once in his life not grasping the seriousness of the situation.

Roman saw the Fake Logic and let out a loud whimper.


	95. Chapter 95

Lightning flashed again. The thunder roared just as loud.

The Fake Logic was stopped just short of them.

Roman looked terrified of him.

And backed up against the tree.

But the Fake Logic didn’t even glance in his direction.

He stood glaring at the others.

He looked so surreal.

His black and gray colours contrasting against everything else.

“Why is he here, why isn’t he in the castle?” thought Anxiety desperately.

Anxiety looked at the snake still high in the tree’s branches.

Anxiety isn’t sure how because snakes don’t have very expressive faces.

But the snake just looked at him and smirked.

The smug bastard.

**_A little back up._ **

**_To give me a hand._ **

Anxiety shuddered. Roman looked up at the snake confused.

**_Roman; tell them to leave._ **

**_Or I will make them leave._ **

Just as the Fake Patton walked around the other side of the apple tree.

 


	96. Chapter 96

The two fakes stood opposite sides of the apple tree.

Like sentry’s.

Fake Patton smiled so brightly at them.

It was the creepiest thing Anxiety had ever seen.

Roman looked back and forth between them.

**_Make them leave Roman!_ **

“You-you have to go. You shouldn’t stay here.”

His quivering voice was barely heard over the storm.

“Anxiety will be safe with you. You c-can all go home.”

He sniffed loudly.

“You d-don’t ne-need me. I-”

“Roman, that’s enough.” snapped Logan “You are coming with us now!”

Logan moved forward but so did the Fake Patton.

And he uppercut Logan right in the stomach.

Thomas might be a lover not a fighter.

But Logic is a nerd not a fighter.

And Fake Patton didn’t hold back.

Logan collapsed to his knees.

**_Honestly Roman you are so pitiful._ **

**_You can’t do one simple thing. I have to do everything for you._ **

**_But they will suffer for your failure._ **


End file.
